The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast – Redefining Narcissism

Intro

In this episode of “The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast,” the speaker aims to provide awareness, understanding, and education about the effects of narcissistic abuse. The speaker shares comments from survivors who struggle to feel heard, seen, and validated in a world where narcissism is prevalent. The podcast dives into the topic of narcissism, discussing its traits, diagnosis, and the healing process.

Main Takeaways

Redefining Narcissism

• The speaker does not work with the clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder and explains why in the podcast.
• The DSM, the manual used by mental health professionals to diagnose personality disorders, only lists 9 traits for narcissistic personality disorder.
• Clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder requires exhibiting at least 5 of 9 traits.
• Narcissism is a term for a series of protective parts of an individual, not a clinical diagnostic term.
• Narcissists have core wounds and protective parts like everyone else, but their protective parts become such a strong sense of self that they cannot do inner child healing.
• Narcissists project their pain outwardly and do not take ownership or responsibility for their actions.
• Narcissistic personality disorder is a diagnosis, while the word “narcissist” is a broader term for protector parts of an individual who will not change and won’t take any ownership.

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

• The speaker’s ex-husband was a covert narcissist, and she had to rely on her own research to understand the full extent of his behavior.
• Narcissists can be difficult to diagnose because they often present themselves differently in public versus private settings.
• Only a small percentage of people with narcissistic tendencies will receive a formal clinical diagnosis.
• Abuse is abuse, and we should not excuse the behavior of a narcissist.
• Codependency is a non-brellitum for protector parts, and a narcissist has a non-brellitum for protectors such as gaslighting and coerced control.

Healing and Growth

• The speaker has written a book about post-traumatic growth after narcissistic abuse, covering everything from birth to present day, and providing a toolkit for validation, inspiration, and hope.
• The speaker uses a parts therapy called Internal Family Systems to help clients understand their true selves and heal from childhood wounds.
• Childhood experiences can shape our perception of ourselves and create core inner child wounds, which can be addressed through therapy.
• Four key inner child exile wounds: “I’m not good enough”, “I’m not important”, “I’m unlovable”, “I’m worthless”.
• Trauma is often the root cause of mental health disorders listed in the DSM.
• Moving from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth is possible with the right understanding and help.

Summary

Redefining Narcissism

The speaker challenges the clinical diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder and explains that narcissism is a term for a series of protective parts within an individual. These protective parts become a strong sense of self for narcissists, hindering their ability to engage in inner child healing. Narcissists project their pain outwardly and often lack ownership or responsibility for their actions. It is important to understand that narcissistic personality disorder is a diagnosis, while the term “narcissist” refers to individuals with protector parts who refuse to change or take ownership.

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse

The speaker shares personal experiences with a covert narcissist, highlighting the challenges of diagnosing narcissists due to their different behaviors in public and private settings. While only a small percentage of people with narcissistic tendencies receive a formal clinical diagnosis, it is crucial not to excuse the abusive behavior of narcissists. The podcast emphasizes that abuse is abuse, and codependency is not an excuse for the gaslighting and coerced control exhibited by narcissists.

Healing and Growth

The speaker’s book on post-traumatic growth after narcissistic abuse provides a comprehensive toolkit for validation, inspiration, and hope. Through the use of Internal Family Systems therapy, clients can understand their true selves and heal from childhood wounds. Childhood experiences shape our perception of ourselves and can create core inner child wounds, such as feeling unworthy or unlovable. By addressing these wounds and understanding that trauma often underlies mental health disorders, individuals can move from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth.

Conclusion

By redefining narcissism and understanding the complexities of narcissistic abuse, survivors can focus on their healing journey. It is important not to excuse the behavior of narcissists and to seek help for healing and growth. With the right understanding and support, individuals can move beyond post-traumatic stress and find post-traumatic growth.