6 Ways to Use My “Let Them” Theory to Improve Any Relationship | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Intro

In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins takes live calls and answers questions from listeners about using her “Let Them” Theory to improve relationships. The “Let Them” Theory is a simple hack that involves letting people do what they want when it comes to things that bother you. By saying “Let them,” you can diffuse frustration and disappointment and take control of your time and energy. Mel discovered this theory after realizing how much time and energy she was wasting getting frustrated by small things and trying to control others. In this episode, she shares practical advice on how to apply this theory to various relationships in your life.

Main Takeaways

Improving Relationships

• The “Let Them” Theory is a simple hack that involves letting people do what they want when it comes to things that bother you.
• Saying “Let them” diffuses frustration and disappointment, and helps you take control of your time and energy.
• The “Let Them” Theory is not about letting people walk all over you or treat you poorly. It’s about taking control and figuring out what works for you.
• Using the “Let Them” Theory can help you save time and energy and stop trying to control other people.
• The Let Them Theory can help people let go of control and focus on themselves instead of trying to control others.

Family Dynamics

• Mel’s daughter Kendall reminded her to let go of controlling her son’s prom and to focus on herself instead.
• Training family members to come to you for problem-solving instead of venting and gossiping can strengthen relationships.
• Using the “let them” theory can help accept family members for who they are and avoid getting stuck in old dynamics.
• Accepting that it’s not your job to change or make your parents happy can lead to realizing they are actually pretty happy.
• Creating space for someone to show up differently can shift family dynamics.

Pursuing Your Dreams

• Pursuing your dreams may not be supported by everyone, but it’s important to stay true to yourself.
• Unhooking yourself from drama can lead to more productive conversations.
• Use the Let Them theory to unhook from others’ reactions to your pursuit of your dreams.
• Others’ reactions to your pursuit of your dreams may be triggered by their own unfulfilled dreams.
• Most people are not capable of sitting with uncomfortable emotions, leading to gossip and snapping at others.

Setting Boundaries

• Setting boundaries and using the “let them” theory can be a way to protect one’s own peace and mental health.
• Telling the truth to friends who are stuck in self-destructive patterns can be a difficult conversation, but it can also be a catalyst for change.
• It is possible to be a helper without losing oneself in the process.
• It is important to remember that one is not responsible for other people’s happiness or boundaries.
• Focusing on being oneself is key to a better life.

Taking Control of Your Life

• Using the Let Them theory can help you not get hooked by your ex and find other options for yourself.
• Letting go of the “fixer” mentality can be difficult, as it can feel like losing a part of one’s identity.
• Stepping in and feeling responsible for others can rob them of the opportunity to face their issues.
• Letting other people be themselves is the pathway to being responsible and taking control of your own life.
• Use Let Them Theory to let your husband get upset about his siblings and not engage in the conversation anymore.

Summary

Improving Relationships

The “Let Them” Theory is a powerful tool for improving relationships. By letting people do what they want when it comes to things that bother you, you can diffuse frustration and disappointment. This theory is not about letting people walk all over you or treat you poorly, but rather about taking control and figuring out what works for you. By using the “Let Them” Theory, you can save time and energy and stop trying to control other people.

Family Dynamics

Family dynamics can be challenging, but the “Let Them” Theory can help. Training family members to come to you for problem-solving instead of venting and gossiping can strengthen relationships. By accepting that it’s not your job to change or make your parents happy, you can shift the dynamic and create space for them to show up differently. Using the “let them” theory can help you accept family members for who they are and avoid getting stuck in old dynamics.

Pursuing Your Dreams

Pursuing your dreams may not always be supported by everyone, but it’s important to stay true to yourself. Unhooking yourself from drama and others’ reactions to your pursuit of your dreams can lead to more productive conversations. Remember that most people are not capable of sitting with uncomfortable emotions, which often leads to gossip and snapping at others. By using the “Let Them” Theory, you can focus on your own path and let go of others’ reactions.

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial for protecting your peace and mental health. Using the “let them” theory can help you establish and maintain boundaries without feeling guilty. Telling the truth to friends who are stuck in self-destructive patterns may be difficult, but it can be a catalyst for positive change. Remember that you are not responsible for other people’s happiness or boundaries. Focusing on being yourself is key to creating a better life.

Taking Control of Your Life

Taking control of your life starts with letting others be themselves. By using the Let Them theory, you can unhook from your ex and find other options for yourself. Letting go of the “fixer” mentality can be challenging, but it allows others to face their own issues and grow. Remember that you are responsible for your own happiness and boundaries. Use the Let Them Theory to let go of the need to control others and focus on taking control of your own life.

Conclusion

The “Let Them” Theory is a powerful tool for improving relationships and taking control of your life. By letting go of the need to control others and focusing on yourself, you can save time and energy. Remember that you are not responsible for other people’s happiness or boundaries. Use the Let Them Theory to create space for growth and positive change in your relationships. Sign up for the newsletter to learn more about this topic and continue your journey towards a better life.