Intro
In this episode of the “Science vs” podcast, host Wendy Zukerman explores the science behind happiness with guest Arthur C. Brooks. They discuss various strategies for finding happiness, the role of religion and spirituality, the importance of physical fitness, and much more. Join them as they dive deep into the science of happiness and discover practical ways to improve your well-being.
Main Takeaways
Creating Lasting Satisfaction
- Lasting satisfaction comes from wanting less, not having more.
- Creating a reverse bucket list can help detach from desires and manage them.
- The prefrontal cortex is the executive manager of desires.
- Revisiting the reverse bucket list helps to stay conscious and detached.
- Goals can be targets, but not attached to a hungry ghost desire.
Influence of Buddhism and Mindfulness
- Thich Nhat Hanh changed the speaker as a Catholic, public policy person, and happiness professor at Harvard.
- Thich Nhat Hanh’s teachings focus on attachment and detachment, and the illusion of individuality.
- Thich Nhat Hanh was influential in the mindfulness revolution in the West.
- Thich Nhat Hanh’s famous book, “The Miracle of Mindfulness,” emphasizes the importance of being present in the moment.
- Buddhist teachings helped the speaker understand how to center their prayer as a Catholic.
Physical Fitness and Happiness
- Physical fitness is a way for the speaker to manage their negative affect and stay happy.
- The speaker seeks advice from older gym-goers to avoid injury and stay in the gym.
The Role of Religion and Spirituality
- The shrine of Guadalupe in Mexico City is a famous pilgrimage site for Catholics.
- The apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary to Juan Diego is a significant event in Catholic history.
- Buddhist teachings helped the speaker understand how to center their prayer as a Catholic.
The Influence of the Speaker’s Father
- The speaker’s father was a mathematician and a lifelong college professor.
- The family dinner conversations included discussions about art and math.
- The father believed in the beauty of mathematics and the marvel of what we can do and still not know anything.
- The father differentiated between complicated and complex problems and believed that the world offers complicated solutions for complex problems.
- The speaker’s father was a gloomy man, which may have been influenced by genetics.
Understanding Positive and Negative Affect
- The Positive Effect Negative Effect Series (PANS) test is important for understanding ourselves.
- PANS helps determine if you’re high positive, high negative, low positive, or low negative.
- Being a high positive and high negative affect person is the mad scientist profile.
- Unhappiness is important and needs to be managed, not eliminated.
- Negative and positive emotions come from different parts of the limbic system and can coexist.
The Role of Memory and Pleasure in Happiness
- Consuming pleasure alone without memory can lead to addiction and ruin your life.
- Memory is the secret to pleasure and happiness.
- Satisfaction comes from achieving something with struggle and expending effort.
- Satisfaction and meaning can be intertwined but are not the same thing.
- The paradox of life is that you have to suffer to get the satisfaction.
The Four False Idols of Happiness
- St. Thomas Aquinas was a medieval philosopher and theologian who introduced Aristotle to the modern world.
- His magisterial work, the Sumathology A, is a masterclass in the way we should be thinking about big topics today.
- Aquinas defined happiness as seeking the divine, but we distract ourselves with four substitutes: money, power, pleasure, and fame.
- Idols are God-like but not God, and they are convenient substitutes for the real secret to happiness.
- Everyone is motivated by one thing, and communities coalesce around it – in New York, it’s money.
Practical Strategies for Happiness
- Starting your day by being in contact with nature is incredibly beneficial for mental health and wellbeing.
- Standing in awe of human genius outside of your realm of experience can be a quasi-religious experience.
- Getting small in front of nature, epic teetus, or God can help put problems into perspective.
- Zooming out by looking at the stars can minimize the scale of hopes, dreams, and opportunities, leading to improved mental health.
- Reading for just 15 minutes a day, such as The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky or Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, can provide a deeply awe-inspiring experience about the human condition and absurdity of life.
Enhancing Relationships and Giving
- Experiences enhance love in your life, going away together or staying home together without distractions can improve your relationship.
- Time is valuable, use it wisely by doing something you enjoy with someone you care about.
- Giving money away to a cause you truly believe in can increase happiness.
- Giving to education, especially Catholic primary and secondary education, can have a big impact on people’s lives.
- Giving away money is a privilege, not a duty.
Taking Risks and Finding Meaning
- The enterprise is not the podcast or the books, it’s you.
- The currency of you is not money, it’s love and happiness.
- Putting your love and happiness at risk can lead to explosive returns.
- Don’t be afraid to take risks, but be smart about it.
- Sometimes taking risks can lead to unexpected and rewarding experiences, like meeting someone special in a foreign country.
Relationships, Dating, and Death
- Using technology in dating where we would have used humans is problematic.
- The paradox of choice makes it harder to attain satisfaction and causes decision fatigue.
- People are looking for compatibility with sameness, but need more complementarity and less compatibility.
- Differences in a partner are hot, fun, and adventurous.
- Matchmakers look for complementarity in a partner, which can fill in gaps in each other in a divine and cosmic way.
Contemplating Death and Finding Meaning
- Death fear isn’t physical death, it’s an ego threat that’s a threat to who you see as yourself.
- Theravada Buddhist monasteries use Mara Nassati death meditation to familiarize themselves with the truth of their future and be liberated from any fear of physical death.
- Familiarizing oneself with death is important to be fully alive.
- Death meditation can help one be free from making decisions about old age, retirement, and death.
- Some people have a death fear of losing their minds or memory, and can benefit from contemplating it through meditation.
Exploring the Concept of Meaning
- Meaning in life can be elusive for some people because they don’t know what they’re looking for.
- There are three schools of thought about meaning: ancient Greeks and Romans, Christians and Jews, and Muslims; nihilism and existentialism.
- Existentialism believes that existence precedes essence, meaning we are born without inherent meaning and must create it ourselves.
- Existentialism believes that existence precedes essence, meaning we are born without inherent meaning and must create it ourselves.
- Teaching is about experiencing things in unorthodox ways to lighten the load for others.
Discovering Coherence, Purpose, and Significance
- For what would you be willing to die today? The speaker is willing to die for others, as he learned from his son’s journey to find meaning in life.
- Carlos Brooks, the speaker’s son, found meaning in life by working on a wheat farm and joining the Marine Corps.
- Finding meaning in life requires asking difficult questions and taking action to discover the answers.
- Finding meaning in life requires asking difficult questions and taking action to discover the answers.
- Allegiances can be manipulated and it’s important to be aware of this.
Practical Strategies for Happiness
- The speaker uses a specific system to track their happiness, including analyzing data going back to 1999 and making changes based on their knowledge of happiness.
- The speaker realized that they knew a lot about happiness but weren’t happy themselves, leading them to make changes in their habits and prioritize practicing what they preach.
- To ingrain a habit, you not only need to practice it but also teach it to others, which is why the speaker is committed to being a happiness professor and living what they teach.
- The protocol for happiness is to understand, practice, and share, and the Dalai Lama advises to “think more, feel less” to become a spiritual adept.
- The secret to happiness is to learn, think, and feel, and turn these into habits that you practice regularly and share with others.
Avoiding Self-Deception and Cultivating Relationships
- We lie to ourselves about stories we want to be true, even if we know they aren’t.
- We can also be in a delusion due to a lack of awareness.
- Seeking outside counsel from close friends who are committed to telling the truth can help catch self-deception.
- Joining a group like YPO forums can also help by providing a codified setting for calling out BS.
- Men tend to get lonely as they get older, while women tend to have close friends cultivated through family and community life.
Body Image and Happiness
- Constantly looking at your physical appearance can be emotionally damaging, leading to unhappiness and eating disorders.
- Physical attractiveness is often judged by what is seen in the mirror, rather than the relationship projected to others in real life.
- Men tend to focus on physical appearance while women tend to cultivate close friendships through family and community life.
- Compliments on physical appearance from other men are unsatisfying in the heterosexual dating market.
The Science of Happiness and the Book
- The book focuses on the science of happiness and is the most bread and butter book the author has ever written.
- Collaborative writing experience of “How to Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier” between the author and Oprah Winfrey.
- The title of the book was changed from “Fully Alive” to “How to Build the Life You Want” with Oprah’s suggestion.
- The book emphasizes the role of unhappiness in living a full life and getting happier.
- Happiness is not the goal, but rather getting happier is the goal.
Overcoming Failure and Embracing Discomfort
- Negative emotions, deferral of gratification, and understanding frustration are necessary for satisfaction and managing wants.
- Suffering is necessary for growth and to lift up the world.
- Pain can be turned into medicine by learning and growing from it.
- Meaning can make suffering less potent and incapacitating.
- Deliberate discomfort can inoculate against fear of unpredictable discomfort.
Teaching Happiness and Accountability
- The goal of the speaker’s teaching mission is to train people to be happiness teachers and share the science and ideas of love and happiness.
- The AG1 nutritional supplement contains 75 high-quality ingredients and is NSF certified for sports.
- AG1 provides a lot of nutrients at once and is an easy way to ensure you are getting important vitamins and minerals.
- AG1 is the ultimate nutritional supplement and is free of harmful levels of microbes or heavy metals.
- The pod cover by 8Sleep allows you to adjust the temperature of your sleeping environment and provides optimal temperature for the best night’s sleep.
- The pod cover sensors track your health and sleep metrics without the need for a wearable.
Summary
Creating Lasting Satisfaction
Lasting satisfaction comes from wanting less and detaching from desires. Creating a reverse bucket list can help manage desires by focusing on past accomplishments rather than future wants. The prefrontal cortex plays a crucial role in managing desires, and revisiting the reverse bucket list helps stay conscious and detached from attachment. Goals can be targets, but it’s important not to be attached to a hungry ghost desire.
Influence of Buddhism and Mindfulness
Thich Nhat Hanh, a Buddhist monk, has had a significant influence on the speaker’s understanding of happiness. His teachings focus on attachment and detachment, emphasizing the illusion of individuality. Thich Nhat Hanh played a crucial role in the mindfulness revolution in the West, with his book “The Miracle of Mindfulness” highlighting the importance of being present in the moment. The speaker’s Catholic faith was also enriched by Buddhist teachings, helping them center their prayer.
Physical Fitness and Happiness
Physical fitness is a key aspect of the speaker’s happiness. They manage their negative affect and stay happy through regular exercise. Seeking advice from older gym-goers helps them avoid injury and maintain consistency in the gym.
The Role of Religion and Spirituality
The speaker discusses the significance of religious experiences and practices in their life. The shrine of Guadalupe in Mexico City holds deep religious importance for Catholics, and the apparition of the Blessed Virgin Mary to Juan Diego is a significant event in Catholic history. Buddhist teachings have also influenced the speaker’s Catholic prayer life, providing a different perspective on spirituality.
The Influence of the Speaker’s Father
The speaker’s father, a mathematician and college professor, had a profound impact on their upbringing. Family dinner conversations centered around discussions about art and math, with the father instilling a deep appreciation for the beauty of mathematics. He differentiated between complicated and complex problems, believing that the world offers complicated solutions for complex problems. The father’s gloomy demeanor may have been influenced by genetics, adding another layer to the speaker’s exploration of happiness.
Understanding Positive and Negative Affect
The Positive Effect Negative Effect Series (PANS) test helps individuals understand their emotional tendencies. It determines if one is a high positive, high negative, low positive, or low negative affect person. The speaker highlights the importance of managing unhappiness rather than striving for constant happiness. Negative and positive emotions originate from different parts of the limbic system and can coexist.
The Role of Memory and Pleasure in Happiness
Memory plays a significant role in pleasure and happiness. Consuming pleasure without memory can lead to addiction and negative consequences. Satisfaction and happiness come from achieving something with struggle and effort. While satisfaction and meaning are intertwined, they are not the same. The paradox of life is that suffering is necessary to experience true satisfaction.
The Four False Idols of Happiness
St. Thomas Aquinas introduced the concept of false idols of happiness, including money, power, pleasure, and fame. These idols are convenient substitutes for seeking the divine and true happiness. Communities often coalesce around these idols, with different cities prioritizing different idols. The speaker explores the impact of these idols on individuals and society.
Practical Strategies for Happiness
The speaker shares practical strategies for happiness, such as starting the day in contact with nature and being in awe of human genius. Getting small in front of nature or God helps put problems into perspective, minimizing their perceived scale. Reading awe-inspiring books and spending quality time with loved ones can enhance happiness. Giving money to causes one believes in and engaging in acts of generosity also contribute to overall well-being.
Enhancing Relationships and Giving
The speaker emphasizes the importance of enhancing relationships and giving as ways to increase happiness. Going on experiences together and spending quality time without distractions can strengthen relationships. Giving money to causes one believes in, especially in the field of education, has a positive impact on others’ lives. The act of giving is a privilege, not a duty, and contributes to personal happiness.
Taking Risks and Finding Meaning
The speaker encourages taking risks and being willing to put love and happiness at stake. While risks can be intimidating, they can lead to unexpected and rewarding experiences. The speaker shares personal stories of meeting someone special in a foreign country and emphasizes the importance of being smart about taking risks. Finding meaning in life requires asking difficult questions, taking action, and continually reflecting on one’s knowledge and beliefs.
Relationships, Dating, and Death
The speaker explores the challenges of modern relationships and dating, highlighting the problematic use of technology and the paradox of choice. They emphasize the importance of seeking complementarity rather than just compatibility in a partner. Differences can bring excitement and adventure to relationships. The speaker also delves into the topic of death, discussing the fear of losing one’s mind or memory and the importance of contemplating death to fully appreciate the present moment.
Exploring the Concept of Meaning
The speaker delves into different schools of thought regarding the concept of meaning, including ancient Greeks and Romans, Christians and Jews, Muslims, nihilism, and existentialism. They discuss the existentialist belief that we are born without inherent meaning and must create it ourselves. Teaching is seen as a way to lighten the load for others and contribute to the search for meaning.
Discovering Coherence, Purpose, and Significance
The speaker shares insights into finding coherence, purpose, and significance in life. They discuss the importance of asking difficult questions and taking action to uncover one’s purpose. The speaker draws inspiration from their son’s journey to find meaning in life and emphasizes the need for discernment when considering what one would be willing to die for. Allegiances can be manipulated, and it’s crucial to be aware of this.
Practical Strategies for Happiness
The speaker shares their personal system for tracking happiness and making changes based on their knowledge. They emphasize the importance of practicing what they preach and teaching happiness to others. The protocol for happiness involves understanding, practicing, and sharing. The speaker encourages individuals to learn, think, and feel, turning these into habits that are regularly practiced and shared with others. Accountability and sharing in decentralized organizations can further support happiness goals.
Avoiding Self-Deception and Cultivating Relationships
The speaker explores the dangers of self-deception and the importance of seeking outside counsel to catch self-deception. Close friends committed to telling the truth can play a crucial role in this process. Joining groups like YPO forums can provide a structured setting for calling out BS. The speaker also discusses gender differences in loneliness and the cultivation of close friendships through family and community life.
Body Image and Happiness
The speaker highlights the negative impact of constantly focusing on physical appearance, leading to unhappiness and eating disorders. They emphasize the importance of recognizing the relationship projected to others in real life rather than solely relying on mirror reflections. Gender differences in body image and the impact of compliments on physical appearance in the dating market are also discussed.
The Science of Happiness and the Book
The speaker dives into the science of happiness and discusses their book, “How to Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier.” Collaborating with Oprah Winfrey, the book emphasizes the role of unhappiness in living a full life and getting happier. Happiness is not the ultimate goal, but rather the pursuit of getting happier. The speaker shares insights into their writing experience and the importance of practicing what they preach.
Overcoming Failure and Embracing Discomfort
The speaker explores the role of failure and discomfort in personal growth and happiness. They discuss the necessity of negative emotions, deferral of gratification, and understanding frustration for satisfaction and managing desires. Suffering is seen as a necessary component of growth and lifting up the world. The speaker emphasizes the importance
