#725 – Seerut Chawla – The Problem With Taking Therapy Advice From Instagram | Modern Wisdom

Intro

In episode #725 of the “Modern Wisdom” podcast, licensed psychotherapist Seerut Chawla discusses the problem with taking therapy advice from Instagram. She explores the trend of online influencers diagnosing attachment problems and identifying trauma over social media, raising questions about the importance of discussing mental health online and distinguishing between genuine therapy and cod psychology. Chawla provides key insights into the problems with coddling and victimhood, the difference between pain and trauma, and the responsibility of being triggered. She also covers misconceptions about self-worth, the obsession with emotions in the West, and the problems with self-healing.

Main Takeaways

The Problem with Coddling and Victimhood

• Overprotecting children can hinder their development and resilience.
• Coddling extends childhood into early adulthood, hindering the transition to adulthood.
• Safety culture treats adults like infants who can’t cope with differing opinions.
• University campuses demonstrate safety culture with protests, trigger warnings, and safe spaces.
• Trigger warnings don’t work and may increase anticipatory anxiety.
• Overprotectionism strategies on college campuses may impact adult mental health.

The Impact of Coddling and Safety Culture on Mental Health

• Psychoanalytic psychotherapy provides insights into the impact of coddling and safety culture on mental health.
• The mind is often divided against itself, leading to conflicts between different parts of ourselves with different needs and desires.
• Psychoanalytic thinking views mental health issues like depression or anxiety as symptoms of underlying problems, similar to a fever indicating an infection.
• Preventing children from experiencing difficulties and conflicts can hinder their emotional development and ability to manage challenges as adults.
• The lack of rough and tumble play, overprotection, and coddling by parents can hinder children’s emotional growth and problem-solving skills.

The Difference Between Pain and Trauma

• Victimhood culture is often oversimplified into two extremes: wallowing in victimhood and lacking empathy, but there’s a difference between being victimized and identifying as a victim.
• Those who have been through traumatic experiences often do not want to see themselves as victims, while individuals with anxiety and low mood may identify as victims to explain their struggles and gain social currency.
• Pain is a part of life, while trauma is an overwhelming experience that can change the brain’s structure and leave psychological injuries.
• PTSD can lead to flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, and intrusive thoughts, damaging one’s capacity to attach to others due to broken trust.
• Not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD; meaningful relationships and support can mitigate the impact of traumatic experiences.

The Misuse and Oversimplification of Pop Psychology

• Pop psychology and mental health are different, and pop psychology is beginning to dominate the mainstream understanding of mental health.
• Instagram therapists and pop psychology are watering down important concepts and creating a coddling blanket around people.
• Nine common culprits of pop psychology include the misuse of clinical language and therapy speak.
• The overuse of terms like “narcissist,” “trauma,” “triggered,” “gaslighting,” and “abuse” is criticized.
• The tendency to label any discomfort or disagreement as trauma or abuse shuts down meaningful conversations.

The Importance of Resilience and Self-Worth

• Self-worth does not come from external validation but from overcoming challenges and keeping promises to oneself.
• Developing competence, keeping promises to oneself, and having a purpose can change one’s relationship with self-worth.
• Building self-assuredness and trust in oneself leads to a grounded sense of self and big life changes.
• Keeping promises to oneself, creating competency, having a purpose, and better sleep contribute to a sense of self.
• Telling the truth is an adventure and a challenging yet important value.

Summary

The Problem with Coddling and Victimhood

Seerut Chawla highlights the detrimental effects of overprotecting children, which can hinder their development and resilience. Coddling extends childhood into early adulthood, making the transition to adulthood more challenging. Safety culture treats adults like infants, stifling their ability to cope with differing opinions. University campuses demonstrate safety culture through protests, trigger warnings, and safe spaces, which may not effectively address mental health concerns. Chawla emphasizes the importance of allowing individuals to experience difficulties and conflicts as part of their emotional growth and problem-solving skills.

The Difference Between Pain and Trauma

Chawla explores the difference between pain and trauma, highlighting the dangers of mislabeling normal life challenges as trauma. Victimhood culture is often oversimplified, but there is a distinction between being victimized and identifying as a victim. Trauma can lead to significant psychological injuries, such as PTSD, which affects one’s capacity to form meaningful relationships. However, not everyone who experiences trauma develops PTSD, and supportive relationships can mitigate its impact.

The Misuse and Oversimplification of Pop Psychology

Chawla criticizes the misuse and oversimplification of pop psychology, particularly on platforms like Instagram. She highlights nine common culprits of pop psychology, including the misuse of clinical language and therapy speak. Terms like “narcissist,” “trauma,” “triggered,” “gaslighting,” and “abuse” are often misused, leading to the watering down of important concepts. The tendency to label any discomfort or disagreement as trauma or abuse hinders meaningful conversations and understanding.

The Importance of Resilience and Self-Worth

Chawla emphasizes the importance of resilience and self-worth. Self-worth comes from overcoming challenges and keeping promises to oneself, rather than seeking external validation. Developing competence, having a purpose, and better sleep contribute to a grounded sense of self. Chawla encourages individuals to prioritize personal strategies for improving mood and gaining perspective, rather than relying on labels and medical language.

Conclusion

Seerut Chawla’s discussion on the problem with taking therapy advice from Instagram sheds light on the dangers of oversimplified pop psychology and the importance of distinguishing genuine therapy from cod psychology. By addressing topics such as coddling, victimhood, pain versus trauma, and the misuse of therapy language, Chawla encourages individuals to develop resilience, embrace personal challenges, and prioritize their mental well-being. It is crucial to approach mental health discussions with nuance and seek professional guidance when needed.