Best Friends of Pivot | Pivot

Intro

In this episode of the “Pivot” podcast, the hosts discuss various topics including the state of dating and workplace connections, the impact of online dating, and the art of arguing civilly. They also interview guests like Lakshmi Rangarajan and Esther Perel who share their insights on relationships and societal dynamics. The episode also features discussions on AI-driven projects, the importance of physical touch, and the need for real-life connections.

Main Takeaways

Automation and Compliance

• Vanta can help businesses achieve compliance and save costs through automation.

AI-powered Browsing Assistance

• Microsoft Edge’s Copilot feature offers AI-powered assistance for various tasks while browsing.

Insights and Concepts

• The “Best Friends of Pivot” segment introduces guests who share insights and new concepts.

Evolving Dating Culture

• Lakshmi Rangarajan discusses the state of dating and workplace connections.
• Dating culture has evolved with online dating, leading to disposability and snap judgments.
• Many couples found that attraction grew over time rather than being immediate.
• A presentation about sports marketing changed the speaker’s perception of a person, showing the power of storytelling and context in attraction.
• The speaker experimented with in-person events and storytelling to slow down the dating process while making it efficient and fun.
• The speaker aimed to change the events business and bring new insights to match.com but faced challenges in being heard and implementing changes.
• The speaker highlighted the importance of building something different in the dating field rather than just reporting on it.
• The speaker emphasized the role of storytelling and context in building attraction, noting that men are visually stimulated while women are stimulated by what they hear.
• Building relationships at work often requires persistence and expressing interest, challenging traditional gender norms.
• Workplace romances are increasingly discouraged due to concerns about inappropriate behavior and harassment.
• Work has become the de facto town square where people slowly get to know each other over time, and this has been affected by the rise of online dating.
• Online dating is performative and affects how people present themselves, making it harder to truly get to know someone.
• Instead of giving advice, it’s important to consider the impact of online dating on personal development and relationships.
• The focus should be on understanding who is building the dating apps and how they inform their world and decisions.
• Empowering people to date differently and be more aware is crucial, even if fixing the dating apps themselves may not be feasible.
• Women tend to date or mate socioeconomically upwards, while men tend to do so downwards.
• Over 50% of women say they would never date a guy shorter than them, possibly closer to 80%.
• Women now own more homes than men, and men are maturing later, receiving mixed signals about being aggressive, and facing economic viability issues.
• Women have been getting taller and men shorter over the last three decades.
• There is a shortage of economically and emotionally viable men, impacting dating and mating.
• The conversation should not just focus on dating frustration but also on the despair and not depict singlehood as an awful deficit.
• Men are visual and open-minded, but dating apps cultivate the shallow side of them, suppressing their range.
• Women may be hung up on height in the moment of snap judgment, but delaying judgment can reveal a different side of people.
• In-person interactions can lead to deeper connections and break the superficial barriers created by dating apps.
• The design of dating apps is focused on efficiency and speed, appealing to the message of efficiency, particularly for men. However, this approach may not be truly efficient in fostering meaningful connections.
• Society should stop evaluating women’s success through the lens of romantic success. It is more important for successful development and maturity.
• Men who do not have relationships by the time they’re 30 may lack social skills and maturity, while women without relationships tend to have greater social connections, awareness, and professional adeptness.
• Singles events are often of low quality and have a bad reputation, but there is potential to elevate them by considering factors like environment, crowd size, and common points of connection.
• The dating industry does not receive the same scrutiny as other tech industries, such as social media, when it comes to the impact on adults, despite the significant implications for adult well-being and relationships.
• When setting someone up, avoid using direct phrases like “setting them up” or “perfect for each other.”
• Instead, use subtle language like “I think you guys might get along” to take the pressure off the setup and give the individuals the freedom to decide.
• Use a “lodge line,” a tiny line about the person you’re setting up that evokes a visual and reveals something about their character.
• For example, mentioning how someone looked out for you and had your back can provide insight into their character and engage the person you’re setting up.

The Art of Arguing Civilly

• Medi Hassan, author of “Win Every Argument,” joins the conversation.
• Medi Hassan discusses the challenges of having a good faith disagreement about major issues.
• The LabLeague theory and its divisive nature are explored, emphasizing the need for civil debate and open-mindedness.
• The origins of COVID-19 and the influence of political agendas are highlighted.
• The House GOP’s position is that COVID-19 was related to a Chinese biological weapons program, but intelligence suggests otherwise.
• Only two out of the eight intelligence agencies believe it’s a lab leak, including the FBI.
• The right has tactically declared victory in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, influencing messaging on vaccines, masks, and lockdowns.
• The right framed pushing back against COVID mitigation measures as standing up for freedom and liberty, appealing to American values.
• The approach of liberals and progressives to make arguments based on facts and figures may not resonate with Americans’ engagement in debate or persuasion.
• The book “Win Every Argument” doesn’t mean one should aim to win every argument, but rather offers skills to choose when to win an argument, such as in a job interview.
• The book aims to equip readers with a skill set to win any argument and dispels the notion that argumentative skills are innate, emphasizing that anyone can learn them.
• The author believes that people should strive to win vital arguments, such as those concerning democracy and freedom, and that individuals who value democracy and freedom should be equipped with rhetorical tools to win these crucial battles.
• The importance of engaging in good faith disagreement is emphasized, as the author believes democracy cannot survive without it.
• The author discusses the need for good faith disagreement and the value of debating and arguing, citing a French essayist’s quote that it is better to debate an issue without settling than to settle it without debating.
• The author acknowledges the challenge of identifying bad faith arguments and suggests that it’s akin to the Supreme Court’s definition of porn – “you know it when you see it.”
• The types of bad faith arguments, including shifting the goalposts, making claims without evidence, and engaging in ad hominem attacks, are identified as reasons to walk away from an argument.
• While there are arguments that should be walked away from, the author emphasizes the importance of actively listening in a good faith argument, as it allows everyone to feel heard and involved in the conversation.
• John Bolton, a skilled debater, was interviewed in 2020, and the host chose to question him on his association with an Iranian opposition group called the M.E.K.
• The interview became tense as the host pressed Bolton on his involvement with the M.E.K., leading to a debate on the productivity of such confrontations.
• The host believes that challenging conversations are necessary, while others argue that aggressive questioning reduces the likelihood of a productive conversation.
• The host feels that the American media has suffered from a lack of challenging conversations and believes in the importance of such confrontations.
• Interviewers have been too differential to people in power for a long time, not calling them out or asking tough questions.
• The interviewee strives to hold people accountable regardless of their political affiliation and is not afraid to ask tough questions.
• The interviewee aims to provide illuminating and productive interviews with experts and interesting people.
• The interviewee challenges the notion that aggressive questioning is unproductive and emphasizes the importance of context in interviews.

AI-driven Projects and Drag Queen Portraits

• An Instagram account called Republicans went viral for its AI images of GOP members in drag, reacting to anti-LGBTQ legislation.
• Co-creator Craig DeForest shares the project’s inception, starting in Palm Springs, inspired by anti-drag legislation.
• The project gained 200K followers in two weeks, despite DeForest’s lack of tech background.
• DeForest sees himself as an activist, raising $21,000 for the ACLU of Montana Foundation in three days.
• The process of creating drag queen portraits involves careful consideration of colors, iterations, and unique original prompts.
• The inspiration for the portraits can come from various sources, such as 1990s or Barbie aesthetics, and even real-life drag queens like Rudy Garland.
• Some public figures, like Ted Cruz, have responded to their drag queen portraits, with Cruz receiving backlash for his response.
• The decision not to create a portrait of former president Donald Trump is based on the desire to avoid giving him more attention and the belief that he already wears more makeup than a drag queen.
• A special drag queen portrait was created for a public figure named Pigeon, featuring a unique and striking gold lame cat suit ensemble.
• Anita Scott Free August is a fashion icon and influencer known for her extravagant style and wit.
• Anita discusses her plans for creating themed content featuring her friends, including Palm Springs and New York park settings.
• The podcast hosts reflect on the success of their AI-driven project and its potential for monetization.
• Anita aims to use her platform to support causes and candidates, reigniting political engagement and motivation.
• The podcast’s blend of humor and important social issues, including politics, drag, LGBTQ topics, and artificial intelligence, resonates with its audience.
• The Republicans AI version of Scott is available on Instagram and TikTok for viewing.
• The hosts share a picture of themselves and discuss its impact.

Relationships and Real-Life Connections

• Esther Perel, a therapist and author, has been counseling people struggling with love, infidelity, grief, and loneliness for over 30 years.
• Hosts the podcast “Where Should We Begin,” where she helps real couples work through conflict.
• Discusses the emotional impact of the news on Israel, acknowledging the shock, numbness, grief, and fear people are experiencing.
• Highlights the animalistic response to attacks and the importance of not adding to the hatred or taking moral stances from afar.
• Advises against excessive exposure to distressing images and stories, comparing it to the impact of 9/11 and the importance of collective trauma experience.
• Emphasizes the value of empathy and collective awareness in supporting others during times of crisis.
• Stresses the importance of coming together with others and containing emotions rather than engaging in political discussions during such moments.
• It’s important to make others feel heard and supported in times of grief and rage.
• Taking action and staying informed can help combat feelings of helplessness.
• Encouraging open-mindedness and empathy can bridge the divide created by social media.
• Holding each other rather than attacking each other brings us closer to our humanity.
• Modern loneliness may be masked by hyper-connectivity, leading to a lack of meaningful relationships.
• The rise of artificial intimacy may contribute to social atrophy and loneliness.
• Encouraging unscripted, unmoderated interactions, such as playing freely on the street, can help develop social skills.
• People are a paradox: You need them, but they can also reject you.
• Predictive technologies provide a form of assisted living, but hinder our ability to deal with people and complex relationships.
• Real happiness comes from navigating the complexities of real friendship, love, and sexual attraction.
• Encouraging people to interact and connect with others in person can create invisible connections and bring people into each other’s worlds.
• Making an effort to engage with people in person, asking about their day, and showing interest can be impactful in a world dominated by online interactions.
• The lack of physical interaction and grieving spaces in modern society can hinder genuine connections and understanding.
• Social platforms provide a partial connection but can be used to facilitate in-person gatherings for deeper connections.
• Modern loneliness is characterized by artificial intimacy and being physically present but emotionally absent.
• Non-sexual touch and affection play a significant role in fostering male friendships and expressing love.
• Physical nurturing and affection are essential for men’s emotional well-being, and the lack of male touch in the United States can lead to irritability and depression.
• In Middle Eastern cultures, there is a lot of physical touch between men, but it’s often not labeled as touch.
• Parents are advised not to stop touching their boys by the age of three, as boys are often touched less than girls.
• Children unlearn physical touch and affection as they grow older, influenced by societal norms and expectations.
• Boys’ physicality and intimacy are often labeled as homoerotic rather than expressions of love and friendship, leading to the adoption of the male code of stoicism and fearlessness.
• The speaker’s parents, who were Holocaust survivors, taught the lesson of not being ravaged by hatred and embracing life with liveliness, vibrancy, and curiosity.
• The only criteria for judging others, according to the speaker’s father, is decency and respect, irrespective of their background or tribe.
• Esther’s North Star is focused on helping people gain confidence in their relationships and learn to connect, especially as relationships undergo upheaval and lack necessary skills.
• She aims to contribute to managing all types of relationships better, not just romantic love, including friendship, mentorship, and creative partnerships, as they can bring both grief and bliss.
• Esther addresses the societal need to focus on relationships, emphasizing that relational health is a critical component of mental, physical, sexual, and emotional health.
• She challenges the mislabeling of the wellness industry, advocating that true wellness is rooted in relationships, while also playfully discussing the use of candles and meditation apps.
• Esther, a guest on a podcast, discusses the importance of relationships and differences in harmony.
• The podcast hosts express interest in inviting Esther to their show for a conversation.
• The interview touches on the rise of artificial intimacy and the need for real-life connections.
• The show is produced by a team and sponsored by NetSuite, emphasizing the importance of streamlining business operations.
• NetSuite.com/Pivot offers a KPI checklist to help businesses measure their performance and make informed decisions.

Summary

Vanta: Automating Compliance for Businesses

Vanta is a platform that helps businesses achieve compliance and save costs through automation. By streamlining compliance processes, Vanta enables businesses to focus on their core operations and reduce the risk of non-compliance. This can lead to improved efficiency, cost savings, and peace of mind for businesses.

Microsoft Edge’s Copilot: AI-powered Browsing Assistance

Microsoft Edge’s Copilot feature offers AI-powered assistance for various tasks while browsing. This feature can help users find information, complete forms, and perform other tasks more efficiently. By leveraging AI technology, Microsoft Edge aims to enhance the browsing experience and make it easier for users to navigate the web.

Introducing “Best Friends of Pivot” Segment

The “Pivot” podcast introduces the “Best Friends of Pivot” segment, where guests share insights and new concepts. This segment brings diverse perspectives and expertise to the podcast, allowing listeners to gain valuable insights and explore new ideas.

The State of Dating and Workplace Connections

Lakshmi Rangarajan, from Land of the Giants, discusses the state of dating and workplace connections. The advent of online dating has brought about significant changes in dating culture, leading to disposability and snap judgments. However, many couples have found that attraction grows over time rather than being immediate. Additionally, the power of storytelling and context in attraction is highlighted through a presentation about sports marketing that changed the speaker’s perception of a person. The speaker also shares their experience experimenting with in-person events and storytelling to slow down the dating process while making it efficient and fun. However, implementing changes in the events business and the dating industry as a whole can be challenging.

The Impact of Online Dating and Building Relationships at Work

The rise of online dating has had a significant impact on personal development and relationships. Online dating is performative and affects how people present themselves, making it harder to truly get to know someone. It is important to consider the role of storytelling and context in building attraction, as men are visually stimulated while women are stimulated by what they hear. Building relationships at work often requires persistence and expressing interest, challenging traditional gender norms. However, workplace romances are increasingly discouraged due to concerns about inappropriate behavior and harassment. Work has become the de facto town square where people slowly get to know each other over time, and this has been affected by the rise of online dating. Instead of giving advice, it is important to understand the impact of online dating on personal development and relationships. Empowering people to date differently and be more aware is crucial, even if fixing the dating apps themselves may not be feasible.

Challenges and Insights in the Dating Field

The dating field faces various challenges and opportunities for growth. Women tend to date or mate socioeconomically upwards, while men tend to do so downwards. Height preferences in dating can also play a significant role, with a significant percentage of women stating that they would never date a guy shorter than them. The shortage of economically and emotionally viable men has an impact on dating and mating. It is important to shift the conversation from dating frustration to understanding the complexities and not depict singlehood as a deficit. Dating apps often cultivate the shallow side of men, suppressing their range, while women may be hung up on height in the moment of snap judgment. In-person interactions can lead to deeper connections and break the superficial barriers created by dating apps. The design of dating apps focuses on efficiency and speed, particularly appealing to men, but may not be truly efficient in fostering meaningful connections. Society should stop evaluating women’s success through the lens of romantic success and prioritize successful development and maturity. Singles events have the potential to be elevated by considering factors like environment, crowd size, and common points of connection. The dating industry should receive the same scrutiny as other tech industries, considering the significant implications for adult well-being and relationships.

The Art of Arguing Civilly

Medi Hassan, author of “Win Every Argument,” joins the conversation to discuss the challenges of having a good faith disagreement about major issues. The LabLeague theory and its divisive nature are explored, emphasizing the need for civil debate and open-mindedness. The origins of COVID-19 and the influence of political agendas are highlighted, with differing beliefs among intelligence agencies and the impact of messaging on vaccines, masks, and lockdowns. The book “Win Every Argument” aims to equip readers with the skills to choose when to win an argument, emphasizing that argumentative skills are not innate but can be learned. The author believes that individuals who value democracy and freedom should be equipped with rhetorical tools to win crucial battles. The importance of engaging in good faith disagreement is emphasized, as democracy cannot survive without it. The need for good faith disagreement and the value of debating and arguing are discussed, with an acknowledgment of the challenge of identifying bad faith arguments. Actively listening and asking tough questions are seen as important aspects of civil debate, while the impact of challenging conversations in the media is explored.

AI-driven Projects and Drag Queen Portraits

An Instagram account called Republicans gained popularity for its AI images of GOP members in drag, reacting to anti-LGBTQ legislation. Co-creator Craig DeForest shares the project’s inception and its impact, despite his lack of a tech background. The process of creating drag queen portraits involves careful consideration of colors, iterations, and unique original prompts. The inspiration for the portraits comes from various sources, including 1990s or Barbie aesthetics and real-life drag queens. Some public figures, like Ted Cruz, have responded to their drag queen portraits, sparking discussions. The decision not to create a portrait of former president Donald Trump is based on the desire to avoid giving him more attention. Anita Scott Free August, a fashion icon and influencer, discusses her plans for creating themed content featuring her friends. The podcast hosts reflect on the success of their AI-driven project and its potential for monetization.

Relationships and Real-Life Connections

Esther Perel, a therapist and author, discusses the importance of relationships and the impact of artificial intimacy. She emphasizes the need for real-life connections and the challenges posed by modern loneliness. Encouraging unscripted, unmoderated interactions can help develop social skills and foster genuine connections. Physical touch and affection play a significant role in fostering male friendships and expressing love. The lack of physical interaction and grieving spaces in modern society can hinder genuine connections and understanding. Social platforms can facilitate in-person gatherings for deeper connections. Esther aims to help people gain confidence in their relationships and manage all types of relationships better. Relational health is emphasized as a critical component of mental, physical, sexual, and emotional well-being. The podcast hosts express interest in inviting Esther to their show for a conversation.

Conclusion

This episode of the “Pivot” podcast covers a wide range of topics, including automation and compliance, AI-powered browsing assistance, the state of dating and workplace connections, the impact of online dating, the art of arguing civilly, AI-driven projects, and the importance of relationships and real-life connections. The discussions highlight the challenges and opportunities in these areas, providing insights and perspectives from various guests. The episode encourages listeners to reconsider their approaches to dating, arguing, and building relationships, emphasizing the importance of empathy, open-mindedness, and genuine connections in a world dominated by technology and online interactions.