Doctor Jordan Peterson: “The NUMBER ONE Reason For Divorce!” & “The One Small Step You Have To Take To Turn Your Whole Life Around!” | The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett

Intro

In this episode of “The Diary Of A CEO,” Steven Bartlett interviews renowned psychologist and author, Dr. Jordan Peterson. They discuss various aspects of relationships, personal growth, and the importance of listening. Dr. Peterson shares insights into starting small to make progress and the role of collaborative empiricism in therapy. They also delve into the impact of childhood trauma on adult behavior and the significance of honesty in leading a fulfilling life.

Main Takeaways

Effective Communication and Personal Growth in Relationships

• Men and women in relationships struggle to communicate and connect on the same level about the same set of priorities.
• Understanding attachment styles from childhood can help navigate relationship dynamics.
• Developing mechanisms and communication strategies can help partners navigate triggers and emotional responses effectively.
• Setting rules and boundaries in a relationship can help prevent overwhelming discussions and conflicts.
• Listening to your partner can help understand and address real issues, leading to improved problem-solving and relationship harmony.

The Power of Starting Small for Personal Progress

• The idea of starting small to make progress, rather than presenting intimidating goals.
• Small commitments to ourselves are often undervalued but are crucial for personal growth.
• Starting with small tasks like cleaning up a room can be challenging, especially for those facing resistance and familial issues.
• Overcoming challenges involves facing a whole range of interconnected problems.
• Taking the first step forward can be both advantageous and humbling.

The Importance of Listening and Understanding in Relationships

• Men often tend to jump to problem-solving when women are looking for a more open discussion about potential issues.
• Listening is crucial in understanding and resolving issues.
• Letting the other person lay all the cards on the table can uncover hidden concerns and triangulate the actual problem.
• Jumping to help without understanding the problem could lead to a wrong solution.
• Developing the patience to listen is the most helpful thing you can do.

Uncovering Trauma and Healing

• Unresolved traumas can lead to reacting to present situations based on tools developed in childhood, creating a cycle of recurring problems.
• Tears during emotional breakdowns indicate the need for a new conceptual structure and neural plasticity to learn and grow.
• Understanding why you are upset requires continual practice and attention.
• Recurring problems in relationships may stem from fixations at developmental stages, leading to interactions that elicit childhood selves.
• Resolving issues in a relationship is a good deal if both partners are faithful and truthful.

The Journey to the Heart of Darkness

• Underneath every problem lies layers of problems, with betrayal being the worst for Dante as it violates the trust upon which relationships are built.
• Betrayal is the ultimate form of violation, seen as the lowest level of hell for Dante, filled with betrayers, and is comparable to childhood sexual abuse.
• Trauma is likened to seeing into the heart of darkness, prompting the need to develop a philosophy of good and evil and understand how to combat evil with truth, love, and beauty.
• Post-traumatic stress disorder can stem from brutal actions, potentially enjoyed, and occurs when there is a large hole that has not been addressed.
• Finding a way out of hell is essential for healing, akin to Dante being guided in the inferno.

Summary

Effective Communication and Personal Growth in Relationships

In relationships, men and women often struggle to communicate effectively and connect on the same level. Understanding attachment styles from childhood can help navigate relationship dynamics, and developing mechanisms and communication strategies can help partners navigate triggers and emotional responses effectively. Setting rules and boundaries in a relationship can prevent overwhelming discussions and conflicts. Listening to your partner is crucial in understanding and addressing real issues, leading to improved problem-solving and relationship harmony.

The Power of Starting Small for Personal Progress

Starting small is crucial for personal growth. Small commitments to ourselves are often undervalued but play a significant role in progress. However, starting with small tasks like cleaning up a room can be challenging, especially for those facing resistance and familial issues. Overcoming challenges involves facing a range of interconnected problems, and taking the first step forward can be both advantageous and humbling. It is essential to break down steps and find manageable first steps to ensure progress.

The Importance of Listening and Understanding in Relationships

Listening is crucial in understanding and resolving issues in relationships. Men often tend to jump to problem-solving, while women may be looking for a more open discussion about potential issues. Letting the other person lay all the cards on the table can uncover hidden concerns and triangulate the actual problem. Jumping to help without understanding the problem could lead to a wrong solution. Developing the patience to listen is the most helpful thing one can do in relationships.

Uncovering Trauma and Healing

Unresolved traumas from childhood can lead to recurring problems in relationships. Tears during emotional breakdowns indicate the need for a new conceptual structure and neural plasticity to learn and grow. Continual practice and attention are required to understand why one is upset. Recurring problems in relationships may stem from fixations at developmental stages, leading to interactions that elicit childhood selves. Resolving issues in a relationship requires faithfulness and truthfulness from both partners.

The Journey to the Heart of Darkness

Beneath every problem lies layers of problems, with betrayal being the worst form of violation. Trauma is compared to seeing into the heart of darkness, prompting the need to develop a philosophy of good and evil. Post-traumatic stress disorder can stem from brutal actions and a large hole that has not been addressed. Finding a way out of personal hell is essential for healing and growth.

Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. Jordan Peterson shares valuable insights into effective communication, personal growth, and healing in relationships. Starting small and listening are key components of progress and understanding. Uncovering and addressing childhood trauma is crucial for personal development. The journey to healing involves confronting the heart of darkness and finding a way out. By applying these principles, individuals can foster healthier relationships and lead more fulfilling lives.