Huberman Lab – Dr. Maya Shankar: How to Shape Your Identity & Goals

Intro

In this episode of the Huberman Lab podcast, Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and former senior advisor to the White House, discusses the influence of identity on our goals. She shares research on identity goals, motivation, and plans, as well as practical tools to assess our goals and determine if they align with our identity. Dr. Shankar also explores the science of feelings and when they should or should not guide our decisions. This episode is sponsored by Maui Newi Venison and 8 Sleep, with a discount code for listeners to try the products.

Main Takeaways

Understanding Identity and Goals

• Identity can be influenced by observation and labels from those around us.
• We tend to anchor our identities to what we do, rather than who we want to be.
• Anchoring our identities to ‘why’ we do things rather than ‘what’ we do can lead to a more durable and reliable relationship with our identity.
• Finding the through line of what we absolutely love about what we do can help us identify our underlying desires and connect emotionally with others.
• Our desire for identities is not going anywhere, but we can be more particular about what we anchor our identities to.

Exploring Adolescence and Identity

• Adolescents and teens ask questions about identity because they are breaking from the structures they grew up around and want to figure out who they want to be.
• Believing in essentialism can lead to feelings of shame and prevent a growth mindset.
• Cultivating a growth mindset can prevent harmful self-narratives and allow for personal improvement.
• Childhood experiences shape our understanding of yum, yuck, and meh.
• Awe-inspiring experiences have two criteria: perceived vastness and a sense of mystery and wonder.

Identity and Pursuing Passions

• Defining self through pursuing an instrument can lead to becoming something bigger than what one thought they could be.
• Reading and understanding the history of an author can give someone something to be and help define their identity.
• Awe can confer benefits to our well-being and serve as an entry point to defining our identities in new places.
• Nouns are slow verbs, but verbs are far more exciting because they create anticipatory activity.
• Language is insufficient to describe higher order emotions and complexity.

The Power of Empathy and Change

• Empathy towards people is the greatest gift cognitive science has given the speaker.
• Having empathy can lead to more kindness towards others and ourselves.
• Empathy can help prevent burnout in long-term pursuits and relationships.
• Being in like-minded spaces can increase motivation and resolve.
• Change in one area of our life will inevitably have spillover effects into all other parts of our lives in ways that are extremely hard to predict.

Summary

Understanding Identity and Goals

Dr. Maya Shankar highlights the importance of understanding how identity influences our goals. She explains that our identities are often anchored to what we do rather than who we want to be. By shifting our focus to the ‘why’ behind our actions, we can develop a more durable and reliable relationship with our identity. Dr. Shankar suggests finding the aspects of our work that we love the most to uncover our underlying desires and connect emotionally with others.

Exploring Adolescence and Identity

During adolescence, individuals question their identities as they break away from the structures they grew up around. Dr. Shankar emphasizes the importance of cultivating a growth mindset and avoiding essentialism, which can lead to feelings of shame and hinder personal growth. She also discusses the impact of childhood experiences on our understanding of emotions and the role of awe-inspiring experiences in shaping our identities.

Identity and Pursuing Passions

Dr. Shankar explores how pursuing passions can shape our identities. Whether it’s through playing an instrument or immersing ourselves in the history of an author, these pursuits can help us become something bigger than we imagined. She also delves into the power of language and its limitations in describing complex emotions and experiences.

The Power of Empathy and Change

Empathy plays a crucial role in our interactions with others and ourselves. Dr. Shankar discusses how empathy can lead to more kindness and prevent burnout in long-term pursuits and relationships. She highlights the importance of being in like-minded spaces to maintain motivation and resolve. Additionally, she emphasizes that change in one area of our life can have unexpected spillover effects in other areas.

Conclusion

Dr. Maya Shankar’s insights into identity and goals offer valuable perspectives on how we can align our aspirations with our true selves. By understanding the influence of identity, cultivating a growth mindset, and embracing empathy, we can navigate transitions, pursue passions, and find fulfillment in our personal and professional lives.