Modern Wisdom – #680 – Dr Anna Machin – Do You Actually Need A Father To Raise A Child?

Intro

In this episode of the Modern Wisdom podcast, host Chris Williamson interviews Dr. Anna Machin, an evolutionary anthropologist, about the importance of fathers in raising children. They discuss the evolutionary role of fathers, the myths surrounding fatherhood, the challenges fathers face in bonding with their children, and the impact of fathers on children’s development.

Main Takeaways

The Evolutionary Role of Fathers

• Fathers played a crucial role in saving the human race when babies’ heads got too big.
• Before investing fathers, the typical father would have acted like a chimp father and spread his seed, but none of the offspring were surviving, leading to the need for investing fathers.
• Investing fathers are those who stick with one woman and help raise their children to ensure their genes survive.

The Myths and Challenges of Fatherhood

• It’s normal for dads to not feel love for their baby when it’s born.
• Dads can struggle to bond with their newborns due to the lack of physiological changes mothers experience during pregnancy and childbirth.
• Breastfeeding can make it difficult for dads to bond with their babies in the first few weeks.
• Postnatal depression can affect dads too, with rates of around 10%.

The Importance of Fathers in Children’s Development

• Fathers are important to both girls and boys’ development, but in different ways.
• Ruff and Tumble play is critical to child development and is a way for dads to bond with their child.
• The relationship a child has with their dad is the biggest factor in their mental health during adolescence, and dads are like superheroes of mental resilience.
• Studies show that dads who spend time with their children have children with higher self-esteem, less depression/anxiety, and better ability to handle stress in young adulthood.

The Challenges and Support for Fathers

• There is a demonization of fatherhood, which may be a response to single-parent households and minimizing the impact that fathers have on children’s rearing.
• Fathers can struggle with the pressure to be a perfect father and breadwinner, leading to stress and depression.
• There is a lack of investment in men’s health and well-being, which needs cultural, structural, personal, and psychological interventions to support fathers.
• Fathers of kids with special needs struggle for support and recognition.

Summary

The Evolutionary Role of Fathers

Fathers played a crucial role in saving the human race when babies’ heads got too big. Before investing fathers, fathers would have acted like chimp fathers, spreading their seed but not ensuring the survival of their offspring. Investing fathers are critical for the survival of the species, as they stick with one woman and help raise their children.

The Myths and Challenges of Fatherhood

There are many myths surrounding fatherhood, including the idea that fathers are not instinctive parents and that mothers are magically able to parent. However, men are biologically primed to parent just like women are. Dads can struggle to bond with their newborns due to the lack of physiological changes mothers experience during pregnancy and childbirth. Breastfeeding can also make it difficult for dads to bond with their babies in the first few weeks. Additionally, dads can experience postnatal depression.

The Importance of Fathers in Children’s Development

Fathers are important to both girls and boys’ development, but in different ways. Ruff and Tumble play is critical to child development and is a way for dads to bond with their child. The relationship a child has with their dad is the biggest factor in their mental health during adolescence, and dads play a crucial role in building mental resilience in their children. Studies show that dads who spend time with their children have children with higher self-esteem, less depression/anxiety, and better ability to handle stress in young adulthood.

The Challenges and Support for Fathers

Fathers face challenges such as the demonization of fatherhood and the pressure to be a perfect father and breadwinner. There is a lack of investment in men’s health and well-being, which needs to be addressed through cultural, structural, personal, and psychological interventions. Fathers of kids with special needs also struggle for support and recognition. Prenatal groups just for men can be powerful and helpful for dads to open up and voice their fears, and experienced dads in these groups can provide reassurance and answer questions that new dads may feel uncomfortable asking in front of women.

Conclusion

Fathers play a crucial role in raising children and have a significant impact on their development and well-being. The current narrative around fathers is based on myths and stories with no academic or observational research to back them up. It is important to recognize the importance of fathers, support their mental health and well-being, and provide them with the resources and interventions they need to be effective parents. Fathers are not just there for mothers, they are there for their children, and their presence and involvement are essential for the overall well-being of families and society.