New Family Values | TED Radio Hour

Intro

In this episode of the TED Radio Hour, titled “New Family Values,” host Guy Raz explores how the American ideal of family has evolved over the years. He speaks with writer, professor, and activist Andrew Solomon, who shares his personal journey of balancing his desire for a family with his sexuality. Solomon’s work delves into how changing values affect the concept of family and parenting, and how identity politics impact our relationships. The episode also delves into the importance of accepting and celebrating differences in family structures and the significance of mental health in the context of family dynamics.

Main Takeaways

Reimagining Family

• The American ideal of a family has changed within a generation.
• Different family structures such as divorce, step families, interracial families, assisted reproduction, single parenthood, foster care, LGBT families, and multi-parent families are all examples of diverse family experiences.
• The 1950s ideal of family is a dated concept and was never really true in the first place.
• Embracing diversity means cherishing the ways families are different rather than emphasizing the ways they are the same.

Vertical and Horizontal Identities

• Andrew Solomon introduces the idea of vertical and horizontal identities.
• Vertical identities are traits and characteristics inherited from parents and ancestors.
• Horizontal identities are shaped by experiences and interactions with the world.
• Acceptance of these identities takes time and involves self-acceptance, family acceptance, and social acceptance, which don’t always coincide.

The Power of Differences

• Many people assume having a child who is different is a grave misfortune, leading to prenatal terminations for conditions like Down syndrome.
• Andrew Solomon’s book and film, “Far From the Tree,” aim to allow people to make better informed decisions and be pro-informed choice.
• Parents tend to love the child they have, even with flaws, and stories of families negotiating extreme differences reflect the universal experience of parenting.
• Solomon’s own family story shows how much love there can be, even when everything appears to be going wrong.

Redefining Family and Mental Health

• The concept of family is being redefined in modern society.
• Rainbow families, formed by LGBTQ individuals taking in kids who have been rejected by their parents, provide an intimate and rich feeling of family for marginalized individuals.
• Legal recognition for families like Rainbow families is necessary to believe in humanity and all family structures.
• Depression can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming, and the cost of secrecy surrounding mental illness is enormous.
• It is important to prioritize mental health, seek help when needed, and support loved ones struggling with mental health issues.

Summary

Reimagining Family and Embracing Differences

Over the years, the American ideal of family has evolved, with diverse family structures becoming more accepted. The 1950s ideal of family is now recognized as a dated concept that was never truly representative of reality. Embracing diversity means celebrating the ways families are different rather than focusing on sameness. Andrew Solomon’s work explores the concept of vertical and horizontal identities, highlighting the importance of accepting and understanding the unique traits inherited from parents and the experiences that shape our identities. Acceptance of these identities requires time and involves self-acceptance, family acceptance, and social acceptance, which may not always align.

The Power of Differences and Mental Health

Andrew Solomon’s book and documentary, “Far From the Tree,” challenge the notion that having a child who is different is a misfortune. These stories allow people to make informed decisions and recognize that parents tend to love their children, flaws and all. Solomon’s own family story demonstrates the depth of love that can exist even in difficult circumstances. The concept of family is being redefined in modern society, with rainbow families providing an intimate and rich feeling of family for LGBTQ individuals who may have been marginalized and rejected by their parents. Legal recognition for these families is essential to uphold the belief in humanity and the value of diverse family structures. Additionally, mental health plays a crucial role in family dynamics, and it is vital to prioritize mental health, seek help when needed, and support loved ones struggling with mental health issues.

Conclusion

The concept of family has evolved, and it is important to embrace and celebrate the diversity of family structures. Accepting and understanding differences, whether in terms of identities or experiences, is crucial for building inclusive and supportive communities. Mental health should be prioritized, and seeking help and support should be encouraged. By redefining family and embracing differences, we can create a more compassionate and accepting society.