Philosophy Bites – Kieran Setiya on Loneliness

Intro

In this episode of Philosophy Bites, Kieran Setiya explores the topic of loneliness and its impact on our well-being. Setiya delves into the nature of social connection, the harm of loneliness, and the various ways in which we can address this issue. Drawing from Aristotle’s view of friendship and examining the relationships we form with pets, Setiya provides thought-provoking insights into the importance of human connection and recognition.

Main Takeaways

Loneliness and Social Connection

• Social connection is valuable because it is a necessary condition for realizing oneself as a conscious being, but this does not necessarily apply to the harm of loneliness.
• Loneliness is harmful because humans are social animals and have social needs, which starts early on in life.
• Attachment between infants and caregivers is central to well-being over the rest of their lives.

Addressing Loneliness

• The harm of loneliness can be addressed by mingling with other people to some extent, which can include professional colleagues or the barista who makes your coffee in the morning.
• Aristotle’s view of friendship includes not only friends but family and even what he calls friendships of utility, and taking a broad view of what we mean by friendship is important when addressing loneliness.
• Everyone is worthy of love and friendship, not just those who are virtuous.

Friendship and Recognition

• Friendship is important for acknowledging and recognizing human value and dignity.
• Loneliness deprives us of this recognition and can cause pain and suffering.
• Some people may find friendship difficult, but still have a need for connection.

Pets as Companions

• Cats can engage in something like friendship with humans, suggesting they may be further into the sphere of morality than initially thought.
• Human beings can have a genuine relationship with domesticated animals that satisfies many needs, including recognition and mutual joy.
• The relationship between humans and pets is different from friendship between humans, but has a similar structure in which there is a certain kind of appreciation.

Validation and Dignity

• For some people, a relationship with a pet may satisfy the basic need to be acknowledged and recognized in a way that dispenses with other human beings.
• Pets can make people less dependent on other people, but still provide a sense of recognition and validation of one’s own value and dignity.
• The value of friendship comes from the value of friends, and any kind of mutual recognition of value is on the same continuum as friendship.

Overcoming Loneliness

• Even small interactions with others, such as with a barista or a pet, can provide a sense of validation and dignity that is lacking in cases of loneliness.
• Recognizing others is a huge part of forming connections.
• Feeding others can be a way to alleviate loneliness.
• Interacting with others without expectations is central to forming connections.
• Starting a podcast can be a helpful tool for combating loneliness.

Summary

The Importance of Social Connection and Recognition

Setiya emphasizes that social connection is vital for humans as it allows us to realize ourselves as conscious beings. However, loneliness can be harmful because humans are inherently social animals with social needs that begin early in life. The attachment formed between infants and caregivers plays a crucial role in their overall well-being. To address the harm of loneliness, Setiya suggests mingling with others to some extent, whether it be with professional colleagues or even the barista who makes your coffee in the morning. By adopting a broader view of friendship, including Aristotle’s perspective on friendships of utility, we can combat loneliness and recognize that everyone is deserving of love and friendship, regardless of their virtue.

The Role of Pets in Alleviating Loneliness

Setiya explores the notion of friendship with pets, particularly cats, and suggests that these relationships can provide a sense of recognition and mutual joy. While the relationship between humans and pets differs from human friendships, there is still a certain kind of appreciation and acknowledgment present. For some individuals, a relationship with a pet may satisfy the need for recognition and validation of their own value and dignity, reducing their dependency on other humans. However, it is important to note that human connection and mutual acknowledgement remain significant for most people, and pets cannot fully replace these aspects of friendship.

Overcoming Loneliness through Validation and Dignity

Loneliness deprives individuals of recognition and can cause pain and suffering. Setiya highlights the importance of friendship in acknowledging and recognizing human value and dignity. Even small interactions with others, such as with a barista or a pet, can provide a sense of validation and dignity that is lacking in cases of loneliness. Recognizing others and engaging in acts of kindness, such as feeding others, can alleviate feelings of loneliness and foster connections. Setiya also shares his personal experience with starting a podcast as a means to combat loneliness, emphasizing the value of structured conversations and the opportunity to form connections through meaningful discussions.

Conclusion

Loneliness can have detrimental effects on our well-being, but it is a challenge that can be addressed through various means. From fostering connections with others, both human and animal, to recognizing the value and dignity in ourselves and others, we can overcome loneliness and find fulfillment in social relationships. Whether it’s through small interactions or engaging in deeper conversations, the importance of social connection and recognition cannot be understated. By understanding the harm of loneliness and actively seeking ways to alleviate it, we can lead more fulfilling lives and cultivate a sense of belonging.