Intro
In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins shares her personal experience with catastrophizing and offers practical strategies to stop anxiety and overwhelm. She introduces the power of six magic words that can shift our perspective and redirect our focus to the present moment.
Main Takeaways
Overcoming Catastrophizing
- Many people struggle with catastrophizing, where their mind defaults to what could go wrong or dwelling on problems that haven’t happened yet.
- Mel Robbins experienced this when worrying about her 24-year-old daughter who was backpacking solo in Australia and had not contacted her in a while.
- Tracking her daughter’s location and checking social media did not alleviate Mel’s worry.
- Mel suggests using the phrase “none of my business” to stop catastrophizing thoughts and redirect focus to the present moment.
The Power of “What if it all works out?”
- Worry is a habit, and one out of three people struggle with constant worrying.
- Mel suggests using the phrase “What if it all works out?” to redirect focus to the present moment.
- We can’t control external events, but we can control our reaction to them.
- Catching ourselves in negative thoughts and redirecting our focus can help alleviate stress and anxiety.
The Spiral of Negative Thoughts
- 91% of worries are completely false, according to a Penn State study.
- The outcome of the remaining 9% of worries is almost always better than expected.
- “What if it all works out?” can help interrupt the spiral of negative thoughts and worries.
- It’s important to not dwell on worries and focus on what you can control.
The Two Arrows
- When something bad happens, there are two arrows that get fired – the first arrow hits you when the painful event occurs, and the second arrow is your reaction to what just happened.
- The second arrow is the pain you cause yourself by worrying and catastrophizing, which can cause a lot of pain and anxiety.
- Research shows that worrying and negative thinking lights up the pain pathways in your brain.
- You don’t have control over the primary emotion, but you can control the secondary emotion and shorten the experience of grief.
Positive Ideation and Trust
- Getting fired can be a liberating experience, as it often happens from a job that is not fulfilling or where one is not performing well.
- Anticipating negative outcomes only causes unnecessary pain and doesn’t change the outcome.
- Focusing on positive outcomes and solutions can help reduce anxiety and stress.
- Assuming good intent and positive outcomes can help face challenges with a clear mind.
Summary
Shifting Perspective and Overcoming Anxiety
Mel Robbins shares her personal experience with catastrophizing, a common habit of dwelling on what could go wrong or worrying about problems that haven’t happened yet. She introduces the phrase “none of my business” as a tool to redirect focus to the present moment and alleviate anxiety. Mel emphasizes the power of the phrase “What if it all works out?” to interrupt the spiral of negative thoughts and worries. By recognizing that most worries are false and that positive outcomes are more likely, we can shift our perspective and reduce stress. Mel also explains the concept of the two arrows, where the second arrow represents the pain we cause ourselves through worrying and catastrophizing. By controlling our reaction and focusing on what we can control, we can minimize unnecessary pain and anxiety. Finally, Mel encourages positive ideation and trusting that challenges can lead to growth and positive outcomes.
Conclusion
By implementing the six magic words – “none of my business” and “What if it all works out?” – we can stop anxiety and overwhelm caused by catastrophizing. Redirecting our focus to the present moment, questioning negative thoughts, and embracing positive outcomes can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
