Intro
In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins interviews Dr. Thema Bryant, a psychologist, minister, tenured professor, and New York Times bestselling author. Dr. Bryant shares her insights on conquering overwhelm and finding inner peace.
Main Takeaways
Overcoming Disconnection from Oneself
- Psychological homelessness is a feeling of being ungrounded and disconnected from oneself.
- Therapy helps people internalize their own compass and become their own guide.
- Disconnection from oneself can feel like a sense of separateness and existing on autopilot.
- Homecoming involves telling yourself the truth and living based on that truth.
- Admitting “I miss myself” is a crucial step towards awakening.
Recognizing Disconnection from Oneself
- Six questions that can be a sign of disconnection from oneself.
- Telling yourself the truth is the first step towards coming home to yourself.
- Unhealthy relationships and toxic jobs can lead to disconnection from oneself.
- Even if you have never met yourself, you can come home to yourself.
The Liberian Fable of the Eagle and the Chickens
- A Liberian fable about an animal expert who discovers an eagle among chickens.
- The animal expert tries to convince the eagle that it is not a chicken and can fly.
- The eagle initially listens but returns to the chickens after looking at them eating their food.
- The farmer laughs at the animal expert, causing him to storm away.
- The animal expert returns the next day and takes the eagle to the roof of the barn at sunrise.
- The story of the eagle teaches us that we may have been treated like chickens but we are actually eagles.
Healing and Self-Discovery
- Recognize and unrecognized traumas of the past may have taught you to hide your gifts and voice in order to survive.
- The process of homecoming starts with taking a moment to tune into your breath and scan your body.
- Being busy and productive does not necessarily mean you are at home in your identity.
- The journey to self-discovery begins with intentions for self-compassion and clarity.
Spirituality and Mental Health
- Incorporate spirituality in mental health practices.
- People with higher levels of education can sometimes neglect spirituality due to the need to prove everything scientifically.
- Definition of spirituality as an awareness of the sacred beyond what we can see.
- Faith is necessary for therapists, social workers, and life coaches, and for people to show up for therapy.
- Combining spiritual practice with therapy can give motivation to heal and repair oneself by believing in the possibility of more than what one has experienced.
Breaking the Silence and Healing from Trauma
- Disrupting cognitive distortions, or false thoughts and lies, is key to healing from past trauma.
- Many individuals who have experienced abuse or mistreatment have been told lies about themselves, and it’s important to challenge those lies.
- Keeping quiet about past trauma may seem like it keeps the peace, but it ultimately harms the survivor.
- Breaking the silence about past trauma is difficult, but it’s necessary for healing and for preventing the abuse from continuing.
Self-Care and Nourishing Oneself
- Create a morning ritual to show up with your cup already full before entering a toxic environment.
- You are more than your labor, there is a you beyond your boss or bad relationship.
- Food affects your mood, put vegetables and greens on your plate.
- Lean into discomfort to come home to yourself.
- Self-care is a sacred act of nourishing every part of yourself.
Accessing Therapy and Resources
- Look up local universities with doctoral programs for therapy resources if you cannot afford it.
- Look for community clinics or universities with sliding scale therapy options if you cannot afford traditional therapy.
- Consider seeking therapy from advanced doctoral students who are under supervision.
- Check out online resources and virtual support groups offered by organizations like the Association of Black Psychologists and the American Psychological Association.
- Dr. Tama Bryant’s book, “Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole Authentic Self” is a must-read.
Summary
Overcoming Disconnection from Oneself
Dr. Thema Bryant emphasizes the importance of therapy in helping individuals reconnect with themselves and live based on their own truth. Psychological homelessness, a feeling of being ungrounded and disconnected, can be overcome by telling oneself the truth and admitting the need to come home to oneself.
Recognizing Disconnection from Oneself
Dr. Bryant provides six questions that can indicate a disconnection from oneself. Unhealthy relationships and toxic jobs can contribute to this disconnection. However, even if one has never truly met oneself, it is possible to come home to oneself.
The Liberian Fable of the Eagle and the Chickens
Through the story of the eagle and the chickens, Dr. Bryant illustrates the idea that individuals may have been treated like chickens but are actually eagles. This story serves as a reminder that one’s true identity may have been hidden or suppressed, but it can be rediscovered and embraced.
Healing and Self-Discovery
Dr. Bryant highlights the importance of recognizing and addressing past traumas that may have led individuals to hide their gifts and voice. The journey to self-discovery involves self-compassion, clarity, and taking moments to tune into one’s breath and body. Being busy and productive does not necessarily equate to being at home in one’s identity.
Spirituality and Mental Health
Dr. Bryant emphasizes the significance of incorporating spirituality into mental health practices. She acknowledges that individuals with higher levels of education may sometimes neglect spirituality due to a focus on scientific evidence. Combining spiritual practice with therapy can provide motivation for healing and believing in the possibility of more than what one has experienced.
Breaking the Silence and Healing from Trauma
Dr. Bryant discusses the importance of disrupting cognitive distortions and challenging the lies survivors of abuse or mistreatment have been told about themselves. Breaking the silence about past trauma is difficult but necessary for healing and preventing further abuse. Keeping quiet about trauma may seem like it keeps the peace, but it ultimately harms the survivor.
Self-Care and Nourishing Oneself
Dr. Bryant emphasizes the significance of self-care as a sacred act of nourishing every part of oneself. Creating a morning ritual, recognizing one’s worth beyond labor or toxic relationships, and being mindful of food choices can contribute to coming home to oneself and finding inner peace.
Accessing Therapy and Resources
For those who may not be able to afford traditional therapy, Dr. Bryant suggests looking into therapy resources offered by local universities with doctoral programs or community clinics with sliding scale options. Seeking therapy from advanced doctoral students under supervision can also be a more affordable option. Online resources and virtual support groups provided by organizations like the Association of Black Psychologists and the American Psychological Association are worth exploring. Dr. Bryant’s book, “Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole Authentic Self,” is recommended for further guidance.
Conclusion
Dr. Thema Bryant’s insights on conquering overwhelm and finding inner peace offer valuable guidance for individuals looking to reconnect with themselves and heal from past traumas. By embracing therapy, recognizing disconnection from oneself, incorporating spirituality, breaking the silence about trauma, practicing self-care, and accessing available resources, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery and come home to their authentic selves.
