The Mel Robbins Podcast – How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life: Surprising Ways to Make Sex Better Even if You Are Tired, Single… or Not in the Mood

Intro

In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins discusses how to have the best sex of your life with Dr. Emily Morse. They explore surprising ways to make sex better, even if you are tired, single, or not in the mood. Dr. Emily shares her expertise on how to bring more pleasure, fun, and confidence into your sex life.

Main Takeaways

Great Sex and Self-Relationship

• Great sex is about your relationship with yourself.
• You are responsible for your own sexual pleasure.
• Shame, overthinking, and inability to ask for what you want are common challenges in sex life.
• Stress, trauma, and shame are the biggest killers of sex life, drive, and connection.
• Developing a positive relationship with oneself through solo sex can lead to better sexual experiences with partners.

Understanding Sexual Desire and Arousal

• Great sex doesn’t happen automatically and requires effort.
• Women typically have responsive desire while men have spontaneous desire.
• Physical and mental health directly impact sexual pleasure.
• Everything we know about sex may not be accurate or healthy.
• Finding practices to calm the nervous system can improve sexual desire and arousal.

Communication and Intimacy

• Having conversations about sex outside of the bedroom can make it less awkward and more intimate.
• Effective communication with a partner about sexual desires can lead to a more pleasurable and fulfilling sex life.
• Prioritizing sex and finding the right time of day for you and your partner can lead to better sexual experiences.
• Couples can masturbate together to enhance their sexual relationship.
• Normalize solo sex and talk about it openly with your partner.

Sexual Education and Pleasure

• Misinformation about sex is prevalent due to the lack of sex education in America.
• Sex education only teaches the physical aspect of sex, leaving out pleasure, self-expression, confidence, boundaries, and communication.
• Masturbation is important for sexual health and creating an owner’s manual for our own bodies.
• Vibrators can make it easier to achieve orgasm, as the clitoris has around 12,000 nerve endings.
• Understanding your own body and what feels good is important in order to communicate with partners.

Summary

Great Sex and Self-Relationship

Great sex starts with your relationship with yourself. Taking responsibility for your own sexual pleasure is key, and common challenges such as shame, overthinking, and difficulty asking for what you want can hinder your sex life. Stress, trauma, and shame are major obstacles to sexual drive and connection. Developing a positive relationship with yourself through solo sex can lead to better sexual experiences with partners.

Understanding Sexual Desire and Arousal

Great sex doesn’t happen automatically and requires effort. Women typically have responsive desire, meaning they become aroused in response to stimuli, while men have spontaneous desire. Physical and mental health directly impact sexual pleasure, and finding practices to calm the nervous system can improve sexual desire and arousal. It’s important to question and challenge the accuracy and healthiness of everything we know about sex.

Communication and Intimacy

Open and honest communication about sex outside of the bedroom can make it less awkward and more intimate. Effective communication with a partner about sexual desires can lead to a more pleasurable and fulfilling sex life. Prioritizing sex and finding the right time of day for you and your partner can enhance sexual experiences. Couples can also explore masturbation together to enhance their sexual relationship and normalize solo sex by discussing it openly.

Sexual Education and Pleasure

The lack of comprehensive sex education in America leads to prevalent misinformation about sex. Sex education often focuses solely on the physical aspects, neglecting pleasure, self-expression, confidence, boundaries, and communication. Masturbation is important for sexual health and understanding one’s own body. Vibrators can enhance pleasure, especially as the clitoris has a high concentration of nerve endings. Understanding your own body and what feels good is crucial for effective communication with partners.

Conclusion

Improving your sex life requires self-reflection, open communication, and a willingness to challenge societal norms and misinformation. By prioritizing your own pleasure, understanding your desires, and fostering intimate connections with your partner, you can create a fulfilling and vibrant sex life. Remember, great sex is not magic and should not happen without effort.