Intro
In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins provides raw and refreshing advice on navigating anxiety, insecurity, popularity, and peer pressure during the teenage and 20-something years. She explores the challenges faced by boys in expressing their emotions, the dynamics of friendships, dealing with hurtful comments, the role of parents, managing anxiety, understanding dyslexia, and setting rules for teenagers.
Main Takeaways
Boys and Emotions
- Teenage boys may process anger differently and need time to themselves
- Boys at high school don’t like to share how they feel most of the time
- Sharing emotions can be seen as a sign of weakness and not masculine
- Social hierarchy can play a role in why boys don’t share their emotions
- After a long day of school, teens may not want to have long conversations about their day
- Sons and people identifying as male are bombarded with the message that emotions are weak
- Prying for information can be frustrating for teens who are processing something and not ready to talk about it
- When someone removes themselves from a situation, it’s best to ask how much time they need and approach them with acknowledgement of their feelings
- Use the line “Do you want me to give advice or do you want me to just listen?” when your child opens up to you, as they may not want advice, just someone to talk to.
Friendships and Popularity
- Friend groups vs cliques: cliques are exclusive and negative, while friend groups are inclusive and positive.
- Being popular doesn’t necessarily lead to happiness.
- Find people who make you feel trust, safety, enjoyment, and security.
- Look for situations where your friends take your side to know if they are truly your people.
- Dealing with hurtful comments is challenging, and it is important to teach children to stand up for themselves and seek support from trusted adults.
- Hurtful comments can be a result of someone else’s frustrations and it still hurts.
- Coping mechanisms include not reacting and making fun of the comment.
- Rehearsing comebacks can help children feel more prepared and in control.
Parenting and Communication
- Parents should be there for their children and ask what they can do to support them.
- Parents should not get involved in minor situations, but should take action if comments become discriminatory or dangerous.
- Parents are coaches and cannot play in the game, they can give advice and support.
- Every young adult and teenager needs to hear that their parents are proud of them, love them, and are there to support them.
- Parents should try to get to know their kids’ friends, invite them over, and have conversations with them to have an impact on their child’s success.
Anxiety and Mental Health
- Anxiety can be consuming and scary, but it is important to remember that you are not alone.
- Finding someone to talk to and seeking professional help can be helpful in managing anxiety.
- The first step in managing anxiety is to tell somebody about it, whether it’s a parent, friend, or anyone else.
- Anxiety can lead to avoiding social situations and not living life to the fullest.
- Seeking therapy and medication can be helpful in managing anxiety and improving quality of life.
- Tools and strategies for managing anxiety actually work, and anxiety is a temporary condition.
Dyslexia and Learning Differences
- Dyslexia is not a sign of being dumb, but rather a different way of learning.
- Dyslexia can be managed with techniques and strategies like Orton Gillingham.
- Dyslexic individuals have different talents and strengths, such as creativity and problem-solving abilities.
- Many successful entrepreneurs and actors have dyslexia and have turned it into a superpower.
- Stop saying “try harder” and get proper tutoring protocols in place.
- Listening to books and typing instead of hand-writing can help with dyslexia.
- Dyslexic individuals are powerful in other aspects that aren’t the school environment.
Teenagers and Rules
- Emphasize safety and location over curfew for teenagers, and enforce rules as a parent.
- Having a house where teenagers can hang out is fun and energizing.
- It is important to have rules and emphasize safety and location over curfew for teenagers.
- Building a separate outbuilding/barn can be a great solution for hosting teenagers.
- Setting clear rules and expectations with teenagers is important, including leaving the space clean and making the bunk beds.
- It is okay to not want to be the house where teenagers hang out, only do it if you enjoy it.
- Having a talk with teenagers ahead of time about expectations shows respect and earns more respect in return.
Podcast Disclaimer and Promotion
- Three ways to get your kids to listen to the podcast: listen to it together in the car, find a 10-minute segment that relates to them, mention that a kid close to their age is voicing their concerns.
- The podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.
- The host is not a licensed therapist or physician.
- The podcast is not intended as a substitute for professional advice.
- Listeners should consult qualified professionals for personalized advice.
- Tune in to the next episode on Stitcher.
Summary
Boys and Emotions
Teenage boys often struggle to express their emotions due to societal pressures and the perception that sharing emotions is a sign of weakness. Parents should create a safe space for boys to open up and offer support without prying for information. Listening without judgment and offering the choice between advice and simply being a sounding board can be helpful.
Friendships and Popularity
The quality of friendships is more important than popularity. Encouraging inclusive friend groups and teaching children to stand up for themselves against hurtful comments is crucial. Rehearsing comebacks and not reacting to negativity can empower children. Parents should be involved in their children’s social lives, getting to know their friends and fostering a positive environment.
Parenting and Communication
Parents should provide support and guidance to their children, but also allow them to navigate minor situations on their own. Expressing pride and love, getting to know their children’s friends, and setting clear expectations are important aspects of parenting. Delaying access to smartphones and creating a safe space for teenagers to hang out can also contribute to their well-being.
Anxiety and Mental Health
Anxiety can be overwhelming, but seeking help from trusted individuals and professionals is essential. Sharing emotions and normalizing the experience of anxiety can help teenagers feel less alone. Tools and strategies for managing anxiety, such as therapy and medication, can significantly improve quality of life.
Dyslexia and Learning Differences
Dyslexia is not a reflection of intelligence, and individuals with dyslexia have unique strengths and talents. Proper tutoring protocols, techniques like Orton Gillingham, and accommodations like listening to books can help manage dyslexia. It’s important to focus on the strengths of dyslexic individuals and provide support tailored to their needs.
Teenagers and Rules
Setting clear rules that prioritize safety and location over curfew is important when parenting teenagers. Creating a space where teenagers can hang out can be enjoyable, but it’s essential to establish expectations and ensure cleanliness. Building separate outbuildings or barns can provide a dedicated space for teenagers. Having respectful conversations about rules and expectations fosters mutual respect.
Podcast Disclaimer and Promotion
The podcast provides educational and entertaining content, but listeners should consult professionals for personalized advice. Three ways to engage teenagers with the podcast include listening together, finding relevant segments, and highlighting relatable experiences. Tune in to the next episode on Stitcher for more valuable insights.
Conclusion
This episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast” offers valuable advice on navigating the challenges of teenage and young adult years. From understanding the emotional struggles of boys to managing anxiety, fostering positive friendships, supporting dyslexic individuals, and setting rules for teenagers, Mel Robbins provides actionable insights for both parents and young individuals. By creating open and supportive environments, seeking professional help when needed, and emphasizing personal growth, individuals can navigate these formative years with confidence and resilience.
