The Mel Robbins Podcast – Research From Princeton: 13 Proven Hacks That Boost Your Influence & Make You More Confident

Intro

In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” best-selling author and expert in charisma, communication, confidence, and influence, Vanessa Van Edwards, shares 13 proven hacks for boosting your influence and confidence. Based on the Science of People, Vanessa’s research-backed tips and strategies are useful for anyone looking to be more effective in their personal or professional lives. Whether you want to ace an interview, nail a Zoom call, or ask for a raise, this episode has got you covered.

Main Takeaways

Boosting Influence and Confidence

• Charisma has nothing to do with extroversion, attractiveness, athleticism, or intelligence.
• Charismatic people constantly signal high warmth and a balance of high competence.
• Highly charismatic people signal warmth and competence at all times, making others feel they can trust and rely on them.
• Charisma is the single most important aspect of being successful, helping in relationships and professionally.
• Charisma can be learned through a specific set of cues and social signals.

The Importance of Warmth and Competence

• Warmth and competence are the two factors that increase influence, impact, and income.
• Charisma accounts for 82% of how people evaluate you.
• Warmth and competence are important in every interaction, including emails and Zoom calls.
• We have a blind spot when it comes to warmth and confidence and how we display charisma.
• Take a diagnostic test to see how you come across to others.

Non-Verbal Cues and Vocal Power

• In the first 10 seconds of a Zoom meeting, show your hands to convey warmth.
• Keep a distance of at least a foot and a half between your face and the camera to signal professionalism and avoid making the viewer uncomfortable.
• Avoid using a question inflection on your name or important information to avoid making people doubt you.
• Voice tone affects perception of charisma and competence.
• Uptalk can negatively impact perception of competence and credibility.

Warm Cues for Introverts

• Introverts often make mistakes with their facial expressions.
• Smiling genuinely, using eye contact, and mirroring body language are warm cues introverts can use.
• A slow triple nod shows immediate warmth and makes the other person speak 67% longer.
• Tilting your head to the side is a universal response to wanting to hear something better and is seen as warmer in LinkedIn profile pictures or video calls.
• Vocalizations, such as saying “hmm” or “wow,” are warming blankets and make the other person feel good.

Verbal Power and Email Communication

• Words are an important aspect of charisma and introverts can use verbal power by choosing their words carefully and asking open-ended questions to participate in conversation without saying a word.
• Using warm words in a video call can stimulate connection and trigger a physiological response on the skin.
• Fronting with the camera by angling toes, torso, and head towards the camera can make it easier for others to believe and open up to you.
• Using warm words in emails such as “collaborate” can gift behavior and make people more likely to be collaborative.
• Consider how you want someone to think, feel, and behave after reading an email and use words that align with those goals.

Summary

Boosting Influence and Confidence

Charisma is a crucial aspect of success, and it can be learned by signaling warmth and competence. It’s not about extroversion or physical attractiveness, but rather about consistently displaying trustworthiness and reliability. By mastering a specific set of cues and social signals, anyone can boost their influence and confidence in various situations.

The Importance of Warmth and Competence

Warmth and competence are the two factors that significantly impact how others evaluate you. They are essential in every interaction, including virtual ones like emails and Zoom calls. However, many people have a blind spot when it comes to displaying warmth and confidence. Taking a diagnostic test can help uncover how you come across to others and identify areas for improvement.

Non-Verbal Cues and Vocal Power

When it comes to virtual meetings, showing warmth through non-verbal cues is crucial. Simple actions like showing your hands and maintaining a professional distance from the camera can create a positive impression. Additionally, being mindful of your voice tone, avoiding uptalk, and using confident and clear speech can significantly impact how others perceive your competence and credibility.

Warm Cues for Introverts

Introverts often struggle with displaying warmth, but there are specific cues they can use to create a positive impression. Genuine smiles, eye contact, and mirroring body language can help convey warmth. Additionally, using a slow triple nod, tilting the head to the side, and vocalizing positive responses can make others feel good and foster a sense of connection.

Verbal Power and Email Communication

Words have a significant impact on charisma, and introverts can leverage verbal power by choosing their words carefully. Asking open-ended questions and using warm words in video calls can stimulate connection and trigger positive physiological responses. In email communication, using words that encourage collaboration and align with desired outcomes can foster a more collaborative and productive environment.

Conclusion

Boosting your influence and confidence is possible by mastering the art of charisma. By understanding the importance of warmth and competence, leveraging non-verbal cues and vocal power, and using warm cues in interactions, you can create a positive impact in both personal and professional settings. Remember, charisma is a learnable skill that anyone can acquire, and it has the power to transform your life.