The Mel Robbins Podcast – Turn Anxiety Into Power: A 3-Step Process to Master Your Emotions From a Harvard Psychologist

Intro

In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins speaks with Dr. Luana Marquez, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at Harvard, about turning anxiety into power. They discuss the scientific research on moving through life transitions and share practical strategies to master emotions during these challenging times.

Main Takeaways

Coping with Life Transitions

• Life transitions can be difficult and cause anxiety.
• Seeking therapy can be helpful in coping with transitions.
• Transitions involve letting go of the old and embracing the uncertainty of the new.
• Avoiding discomfort can make transitions even harder.

Values and Transitions

• Values are questioned during transitions.
• Our values should be our compass.
• Ambition may no longer serve us during certain transitions.
• Falling into values that no longer serve us can lead to avoidance of transitions.

Fulfillment and Impact

• Success does not necessarily equal happiness or fulfillment.
• Identifying and living by one’s true values can lead to greater impact and fulfillment.
• The pandemic has caused a shift in values for many people.
• Finding one’s values can be difficult, but paying attention to moments of flow can help.

Supporting Others and Managing Emotions

• It is important to examine and address one’s own triggers and reactions to support loved ones going through transitions.
• Helping children identify and express their emotions can be beneficial.
• Avoidance is a common tactic to shift the conversation away from uncomfortable emotions.
• Being present and supportive for loved ones during times of transition and fear is important.

Aligning with Values and Taking Action

• Creating clear goals aligned with values can help navigate transitions.
• Values act as an anchor to help navigate choppy waters of transition.
• Identifying and aligning with your values takes action to live that life.
• Aligning values and action can lead to an aligned life where all aspects fit together.

Summary

Scientific Research on Transitions

Dr. Luana Marquez, a clinical psychologist and associate professor at Harvard, discusses the scientific research on moving through life transitions. Transitions involve letting go of the old and embracing the uncertainty of the new. Avoiding discomfort can make transitions even harder, and falling into values that no longer serve us can lead to avoidance of transitions. By leaning towards the pain and identifying violated values, we can navigate transitions more effectively.

Fulfillment and Impact

Success does not necessarily lead to happiness or fulfillment. Dr. Marquez emphasizes the importance of identifying and living by one’s true values, which can lead to greater impact and fulfillment in life. The pandemic has caused a shift in values for many people, with a greater emphasis on family and flexibility in work. Finding one’s values can be challenging, but paying attention to moments of flow and reflecting on what is important in those moments can provide valuable insights.

Supporting Others and Managing Emotions

During times of transition, it is crucial to examine and address our own triggers and reactions in order to better support loved ones going through their own transitions. Helping children identify and express their emotions can help their emotional brain cool off and their thinking brain come back online. It is important to avoid the urge to rush in and fix things, and instead, hold space for ourselves and others to feel their emotions. By identifying and exploring the root cause of emotions, we can process and manage them more effectively.

Aligning with Values and Taking Action

Creating clear goals aligned with our values can help us navigate transitions. Values act as an anchor to help us navigate the choppy waters of transition. By identifying and aligning with our values, we can take action to live a more fulfilling life where all aspects fit together. Leaning into pain and using it as a catalyst for growth and transformation can lead to a more aligned and purposeful life. Breaking down fear and shifting perspective can help us achieve our goals and live a fulfilling life.

Conclusion

Life transitions can be challenging, but by embracing discomfort, identifying our values, and taking aligned action, we can navigate these transitions with power and purpose. It’s important to support ourselves and others during these times, allowing space for emotions and growth. By understanding the science behind transitions and implementing practical strategies, we can turn anxiety into power and create a life that aligns with our true values.