The Mel Robbins Podcast – You Asked, I Answered: Don’t F*ing Blame Me for Delivering the Hard Truth

Intro

In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel answers listener questions and provides advice on various topics, including friendships, career, therapy, and personal growth. She shares her insights and experiences to help listeners navigate through life’s challenges and make positive changes.

Main Takeaways

Friendships

• Friendship is a give and take relationship.
• It’s important to show up for friends during hard times.
• A sustained feeling of giving more than you’re getting is a sign it’s time to walk away from a friendship.
• Not everyone is meant to be a lifelong friend.
• Friendships are about energy exchange and being in a place in your lives where you bring out the best in each other.
• Friendships can make sense within a certain context, but when that context disappears, the binds that kept the friendship together may disappear as well.
• It’s okay to invest less energy in a friendship if you’re not getting anything back or if the friendship no longer serves you.
• Friendships are not one way, there is a reciprocal nature to them.
• It’s important to let go of fantasies and see the person for who they really are in relationships.
• Everyone is busy, so it’s okay if you don’t see all your friends regularly.
• Upgrade your definition of friendship to not require constant contact.
• Stop chasing people who don’t give you energy back.

Career and Negotiation

• Use objectification to make decisions by asking what someone you respect would do.
• Borrow confidence and decisiveness from others.
• Prove what you want when negotiating a salary with a male boss.
• Prove your value to your employer by showing the contributions you’ve made to the bottom line and the problems you’ve solved.
• Comparison of job titles in the area is not relevant to your employer.
• Non-monetary contributions can be invaluable.

Therapy and Mental Health

• Advice for getting people to go to therapy.
• Therapy is a conversation about life, thoughts, habits, hopes, dreams, and relationships with an objective person.
• Therapy is a luxury and privilege that every human deserves.
• Frame therapy as an opportunity to achieve goals and be more successful and happy in life.
• It is important to express concern for loved ones struggling with mental health.
• Badgering someone to go to therapy is not effective, clear communication is key.
• Expressing a boundary can be a clear line in the sand, leading to positive change.
• Resentment can build when feelings are not communicated, leading to relationship breakdowns.
• Sometimes, tough love is necessary for the well-being of both parties involved.
• Setting boundaries can lead to feeling safe and free of resentment.
• Medication can provide a ladder out of a mental hole.
• Therapy can work better after medication has helped.
• Being vulnerable through word vomiting is a valid form of vulnerability.

Personal Growth and Aging

• The 40s can be an opportunity for growth and building from experience.
• The best years of your life are as you get older, don’t buy into mid-life crisis.
• Utilize technology and failures to create something new.

Relationships and Communication

• To convince someone to get hearing aids, plan a fun activity and surprise them with an appointment.
• Losing hearing can be scary and admitting it can make someone feel vulnerable.
• Relationships require deeper connections beyond the surface level.
• Connecting over insecurities can be an opportunity for growth.
• Compassion and humor can help in dealing with difficult dynamics.

Mel Robbins and the Podcast

• Mel Robbins is always available to cheer listeners on and give them a kick in the ass.
• The podcast is presented for educational and entertainment purposes only, not as a substitute for professional advice.

Summary

Friendships: Nurturing Healthy Connections

Friendships are a give and take relationship, where both parties show up for each other during hard times. However, if you find yourself constantly giving more than you’re receiving, it may be a sign that it’s time to walk away from that friendship. Not all friendships are meant to last a lifetime, and it’s important to recognize when a friendship no longer serves you or brings out the best in you. It’s okay to invest less energy in a friendship if it’s not reciprocated or if the context of the friendship has changed. Let go of fantasies and see the person for who they truly are. Upgrade your definition of friendship to not require constant contact and stop chasing people who don’t give you energy back.

Career and Negotiation: Proving Your Worth

When it comes to career and negotiation, use objectification by asking yourself what someone you respect would do. Borrow confidence and decisiveness from others to help you make decisions. When negotiating a salary with a male boss, prove what you want by showcasing the contributions you’ve made to the bottom line and the problems you’ve solved. Job titles in the area may not be relevant to your employer, so focus on demonstrating your value through tangible achievements. Remember that non-monetary contributions can be invaluable to your organization.

Therapy and Mental Health: The Power of Communication

Encouraging loved ones to go to therapy requires clear communication and expressing concern rather than badgering them. Frame therapy as an opportunity to achieve goals and improve overall well-being. Therapy is a luxury and privilege that everyone deserves, as it provides a safe space to discuss life, thoughts, habits, hopes, dreams, and relationships. Setting boundaries and expressing feelings can lead to positive change and prevent resentment from building. Medication can be a helpful tool to climb out of a mental hole, and therapy can work even better after medication has provided some relief. Being vulnerable through word vomiting can be a valid form of vulnerability.

Personal Growth and Aging: Embracing Change

The 40s can be a transformative period for personal growth, building upon past experiences and wisdom. Instead of succumbing to a mid-life crisis, embrace the opportunities that come with age. Utilize technology and learn from failures to create something new and meaningful.

Relationships and Communication: Deeper Connections

Building deeper connections in relationships requires going beyond the surface level. Connecting over insecurities can be an opportunity for growth and understanding. Difficult dynamics can be navigated with compassion and humor, helping to foster healthier and stronger relationships. When it comes to addressing sensitive topics like hearing loss, planning a fun activity and surprising the person with an appointment can help alleviate fears and vulnerability.

Mel Robbins and the Podcast: Support and Entertainment

Mel Robbins, the host of the podcast, is always available to cheer listeners on and provide motivation. However, it’s important to note that the podcast is presented for educational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice.

Conclusion

From friendships to career, therapy to personal growth, and relationships to communication, this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast” covers a wide range of topics. Mel Robbins shares her wisdom and experiences to help listeners navigate through life’s challenges and make positive changes. Whether it’s reevaluating friendships, proving your worth in the workplace, seeking therapy, embracing personal growth, or deepening connections in relationships, the insights shared in this episode can inspire and empower listeners to live their best lives.