The Pain Of No One Rescuing You After Narcissistic Abuse | The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast

Intro

In this episode of “The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast,” the host addresses the pain of not being rescued after narcissistic abuse. The podcast aims to provide awareness, understanding, and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse. Listeners are assured that they are believed, seen, and heard, and they are not alone in their experiences. The host emphasizes the possibility of moving from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth and offers inspiration, motivation, education, and hope for those dealing with narcissistic abuse.

Main Takeaways

Seeking Validation and Approval

• Many people in narcissistic relationships seek external validation and approval due to feeling not good enough from childhood experiences.
• The need for someone else to make us feel a certain way can lead to codependency in friendships, romantic relationships, and the workplace.
• As adults, it’s our own responsibility to make ourselves feel a certain way, especially in toxic or narcissistic relationships.

The Desire to be Rescued

• The desire to be rescued and have the weight of responsibilities taken off our shoulders can be overwhelming, especially in challenging family situations.
• Happiness is one’s own responsibility; no one else can make you happy or rescue you.
• Even with inner work, there are still moments of feeling overwhelmed and wanting to do nothing.

Responsibility and Self-Care

• Feeling of responsibility can be heavy, especially when everything falls on one’s shoulders.
• Seeking a destination of constant happiness is unrealistic; it’s important to take responsibility for one’s own well-being.
• It’s crucial to nurture oneself on days when feeling down and seek self-care.

Unmet Expectations and Blended Families

• Gender-biased roles and expectations in relationships can lead to feelings of resentment and unmet expectations.
• Being with someone who doesn’t meet expectations can be harder than being alone.
• Blended families and step-parenting come with unique challenges that require a manual to navigate.

Healing and Growth

• Dealing with a partner’s toxic ex and the impact on the relationship.
• Balancing the partner’s responsibilities to their children and the relationship.
• Feeling hurtful and bringing up old wounds due to the dynamics with the partner’s ex.
• Ongoing journey of healing and self-awareness.

Summary

Seeking Validation and Approval

In narcissistic relationships, many individuals seek external validation and approval due to childhood experiences that made them feel not good enough. This need for someone else to make them feel a certain way often leads to codependency in various aspects of life, including friendships, romantic relationships, and the workplace. However, it’s essential to realize that as adults, it is our own responsibility to make ourselves feel a certain way, especially when dealing with toxic or narcissistic relationships.

The Desire to be Rescued

After narcissistic abuse, there is often a strong desire to be rescued and have the weight of responsibilities taken off one’s shoulders. However, it is crucial to understand that happiness is one’s own responsibility, and no one else can make you happy or rescue you. Even with inner work and progress, there will still be moments of feeling overwhelmed and wanting to do nothing. It is essential to acknowledge these feelings and practice self-care during such times.

Responsibility and Self-Care

The feeling of responsibility can be heavy, especially when everything falls on one’s shoulders. Seeking a constant state of happiness is unrealistic, and it is important to take responsibility for one’s own well-being. This includes nurturing oneself on days when feeling down and actively engaging in self-care practices. It is crucial to remember that it is not others’ responsibility to notice or take the pressure off oneself.

Unmet Expectations and Blended Families

Gender-biased roles and expectations in relationships can lead to feelings of resentment and unmet expectations. Being with someone who consistently fails to meet expectations can be more challenging than being alone. Additionally, blended families and step-parenting come with unique challenges that require careful navigation and understanding. It is important to acknowledge these challenges and seek support or resources to help navigate these complex dynamics.

Healing and Growth

Dealing with a partner’s toxic ex can have a significant impact on a relationship. Balancing the partner’s responsibilities to their children and the relationship can be challenging and may bring up hurtful emotions and old wounds. However, it is crucial to recognize that healing and growth are ongoing processes. It is essential to prioritize self-awareness, self-care, and personal growth in new relationships. Challenges should be seen as opportunities for personal growth and healing.

Conclusion

In this episode, “The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast” addresses the pain of not being rescued after narcissistic abuse. Listeners are reminded that seeking external validation and approval is not a sustainable solution, and it is our own responsibility to make ourselves feel a certain way. The importance of self-care, nurturing oneself, and taking ownership of one’s own happiness is emphasized. The podcast offers support through a free support group and a free masterclass on navigating narcissists during the holidays. Listeners are encouraged to share their thoughts and light bulb moments on social media, and they are assured that they are not alone in their journey of healing and recovery.