This Teen Cracked the Code on Anxiety and Teaches You How He Did It | The Mel Robbins Podcast

Intro

In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins introduces her 18-year-old son, Oakley, as a special guest. Oakley shares his personal experience with anxiety, confidence, and struggles, while Mel acknowledges his resilience. They also discuss various questions from listeners of all ages, highlighting the relevance of managing stress in different life situations.

Main Takeaways

Managing Stress during the College Process

• Stress is a natural part of life, especially during significant events like the college process (00:00:45)
• Accepting stress as a part of life and not resisting it (00:01:07)
• Taking a step back, recognizing uniqueness, and understanding that life is not determined by college acceptance (00:03:31)
• Appreciating the present moment and enjoying the last year of high school (00:05:48)
• Learning to appreciate where you are in any significant life event or goal pursuit (00:07:01)

Setting Boundaries for Mental Well-being

• Importance of setting personal boundaries and communicating them effectively (00:00:00)
• Understanding and respecting the boundaries of others for healthy relationships (00:00:00)
• Giving space to loved ones during sensitive topics without prying (00:00:00)
• Showing love and support without constantly bringing up sensitive topics (00:00:00)

Parenting and Divorce

• Being honest with kids about being unhappy during a divorce and reassuring them (00:00:00)
• Taking kids’ needs into account and letting them express their preferences (00:00:00)
• Recognizing kids’ emotions and allowing them to grieve in their own way (00:00:00)
• Avoiding negative talk about the spouse to protect kids (00:00:00)
• Establishing boundaries for open communication and respect in parent-child relationships (00:00:00)

Building Confidence and Overcoming Self-Doubt

• Understanding self-consciousness during puberty and knowing others are experiencing similar challenges (00:00:00)
• Surrounding oneself with supportive people to boost confidence and self-esteem (00:00:00)
• Engaging in activities outside of the comfort zone for personal growth (00:00:00)
• Trying new things and overcoming self-doubt for unexpected fun and confidence (00:00:00)
• Dealing with bullying and hazing, and the importance of parental support (00:00:00)

Open Communication and Connection within Families

• Maintaining connection through group chats and addressing favoritism from parents (00:00:00)
• Understanding teenagers’ need for privacy and respecting personal space (00:00:00)
• Creating opportunities for family conversation and connection, like mandatory dinners (00:00:00)
• Addressing gaming habits and its role in connecting with friends (00:00:00)
• Emphasizing the importance of open communication, trust, and safety within families (00:00:00)

Summary

Managing Stress during the College Process

Stress is a natural part of life, especially during significant events like the college process. Oakley emphasizes the importance of accepting stress rather than resisting it. He advises taking a step back, recognizing one’s uniqueness, and understanding that life is not solely determined by college acceptance. Appreciating the present moment and enjoying the last year of high school is crucial. Learning to appreciate where you are in any significant life event or goal pursuit is challenging but important. By embracing stress and appreciating the present, individuals can navigate the college process with a healthier mindset.

Setting Boundaries for Mental Well-being

Oakley highlights the significance of setting personal boundaries and effectively communicating them. Respecting the boundaries of others is essential for fostering healthy relationships. During the college process, parents should understand that it consumes most of their child’s thoughts and give them space when needed. Recognizing when loved ones are dealing with sensitive topics and giving them space without prying is crucial. Showing love and support can be done in other ways without constantly bringing up sensitive topics. Setting boundaries helps maintain mental well-being and promotes healthier relationships.

Parenting and Divorce

Oakley shares insights on parenting and divorce, emphasizing the importance of being honest with kids about being unhappy while reassuring them that it’s not their fault. Taking kids’ needs into account and letting them express their preferences during a divorce is crucial. Recognizing that kids are also grieving and allowing them to go through the process in their own way is essential. Avoiding negative talk about the spouse protects kids from harm. Establishing boundaries that encourage open communication and respect in parent-child relationships fosters a healthier dynamic.

Building Confidence and Overcoming Self-Doubt

Oakley provides advice on building confidence and overcoming self-doubt, particularly during challenging times like middle school. Understanding that everyone is going through similar experiences can help in overcoming self-consciousness. Surrounding oneself with supportive and uplifting people boosts confidence and self-esteem. Engaging in activities outside of the comfort zone, like theater or joining clubs, helps break barriers and build confidence. Trying new things, even if they are outside of one’s comfort zone, leads to personal growth and increased self-confidence.

Open Communication and Connection within Families

Oakley discusses the importance of open communication and connection within families. Maintaining connection through group chats and addressing favoritism from parents helps foster stronger relationships. Understanding teenagers’ need for privacy and respecting personal space is crucial. Creating opportunities for family conversation and connection, such as mandatory dinners, promotes open communication and understanding. Addressing gaming habits and recognizing its role in connecting with friends allows for healthier engagement. Emphasizing open communication, trust, and safety within families strengthens bonds.

Conclusion

This episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast” features Oakley, Mel Robbins’ 18-year-old son, discussing various topics including managing stress during the college process, setting boundaries, parenting and divorce, building confidence, and fostering open communication within families. Oakley shares personal experiences and provides valuable insights and advice for listeners of all ages. By embracing stress, setting boundaries, and promoting open communication, individuals can navigate life’s challenges with resilience and develop healthier relationships.