Unspoken Truths of Sexual Attraction | Tom & Lisa Bilyeu | Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu

Intro

In this episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu discuss the unspoken truths of sexual attraction. They explore the complexities of attraction, the influence of biology and personal preferences, and the importance of emotional investment in relationships. Listeners are encouraged to leave ratings and reviews to help grow the podcast, and anonymous questions can be submitted via email.

Main Takeaways

Understanding Sexual Attraction

• Attraction is influenced by both biology and personal preferences.
• Men have a more rigid sexual response compared to women, while women have a more flexible sexual response.
• Women’s attraction is more about the person than just the raw pre-programmed sexual response.
• Women respond to sex in general, regardless of the gender of the participants.
• Women have more flexibility in terms of blood flow when responding to sex compared to men.

Age and Attraction

• Men are attracted to 22-year-olds regardless of their age, while women’s attraction shifts with age.
• Emotional investment and intentional intellectual and emotional connection can increase attraction.
• What one values is malleable and can have neurochemical and emotional effects.
• Investing in what one values can lead to a stronger emotional connection and attraction.

Authentic Relationships and Jealousy

• Authentic relationships can be formed regardless of sexual attraction.
• Being secure in a relationship means not being jealous of your partner’s attractions.
• It’s natural to find other people attractive, even when in a committed relationship.
• Pornography can be a normal part of a healthy relationship.
• It’s important to understand and accept our natural human attractions and desires.

Power Dynamics and Emotional Connection

• Recognizing and playing to human sexuality can help draw people in.
• Being with someone who lights you on fire is a beautiful place to be.
• Building a strong and connected relationship takes effort and energy.
• Seeking out a partner who challenges you can be more fulfilling than always feeling brilliant.
• Power dynamics in relationships can be about emotional challenge rather than control.

Summary

Understanding Sexual Attraction

Tom and Lisa discuss the complexity of sexual attraction, highlighting the influence of both biology and personal preferences. They explain that men have a more rigid sexual response compared to women, while women have a more flexible sexual response. Women’s attraction is more about the person than just the raw pre-programmed sexual response. They also explore how women respond to sex in general, regardless of the gender of the participants, and the differences in blood flow between men and women during sexual arousal.

Age and Attraction

The hosts delve into the topic of age and attraction, noting that men are often attracted to 22-year-olds regardless of their own age, while women’s attraction shifts with age. They emphasize the importance of emotional investment and intentional intellectual and emotional connection in increasing attraction. Additionally, they discuss how what one values can have neurochemical and emotional effects, and investing in those values can lead to a stronger emotional connection and attraction.

Authentic Relationships and Jealousy

Tom and Lisa explore the concept of forming authentic relationships regardless of sexual attraction. They emphasize the importance of being secure in a relationship and not being jealous of your partner’s attractions. They normalize finding other people attractive, even when in a committed relationship, and discuss how pornography can be a normal part of a healthy relationship. They stress the importance of understanding and accepting our natural human attractions and desires.

Power Dynamics and Emotional Connection

The hosts discuss the role of power dynamics in relationships and how recognizing and playing to human sexuality can help draw people in. They highlight the beauty of being with someone who lights you on fire and emphasize that building a strong and connected relationship takes effort and energy. They encourage seeking out a partner who challenges you, as it can be more fulfilling than always feeling brilliant. They also explore how power dynamics in relationships can be about emotional challenge rather than control.

Conclusion

In this episode, Tom and Lisa Bilyeu dive deep into the unspoken truths of sexual attraction. They provide valuable insights into the complexity of attraction, the influence of biology and personal preferences, and the importance of emotional investment in relationships. Listeners are encouraged to explore their own attractions and desires, while also fostering authentic connections and embracing the power dynamics within relationships. By understanding and accepting our natural human instincts, we can create fulfilling and passionate partnerships.