The Mel Robbins Podcast – 11 Crazy Facts About Laundry, Showering, & Getting the “Little Stuff” Done That Will Make You Laugh (and Prove You’re Doing Better Than You Think)

Intro

In this episode of “The Mel Robbins Podcast,” Mel Robbins discusses the overwhelming feeling that many people experience when it comes to household chores and self-care. She is joined by Casey Davis to explore the shame and societal expectations surrounding these tasks and offers practical advice on how to rise above the pressure.

Main Takeaways

Overwhelm and Shame

• Many people feel overwhelmed by household chores like laundry and dishes.
• Overwhelm can cause people to avoid certain tasks, like washing their hair or emptying the dishwasher.
• A messy home can lead to feelings of shame and inadequacy.
• Emotional difficulties and societal messages can make it hard to find motivation to complete household tasks.
• Domestic labor is often invisible and undervalued, leading to feelings of inadequacy when tasks are not completed.

Self-Care and Worthiness

• Some people prioritize self-care over household chores when feeling overwhelmed.
• Our value should not be tied to our ability to complete household tasks, and it’s important to remove the shame from our to-do lists.
• Self-care has become another thing that people can’t get to, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
• Self-care should be brought down to the basics, such as doing laundry or washing dishes, without tying it to self-worth or societal expectations.
• Self-care is about doing tasks that care for oneself and should not be seen as a measure of self-improvement or worthiness.

Challenges of Self-Care Tasks

• Taking care of oneself can be daunting due to the way our brains work and the impact of stress, sleep deprivation, and mental health struggles on executive functions.
• Showering, which may seem like a simple task, can be difficult for those struggling with mental health disorders or compromised executive functions.
• Brushing teeth and other self-care tasks can be challenging for people with sensory sensitivities or physical issues.
• It’s important to prioritize self-care and understand that it can look different for everyone, including seeking outside help if needed.

Changing Perspectives on Household Tasks

• The state of our home does not determine our worth as a person.
• Mess is morally neutral, and we assign meaning to it ourselves.
• It’s important to consider alternative meanings for the mess in our homes and not solely focus on the negative interpretation.
• Our actions and priorities towards relationships are more important than household tasks.
• Customizing cleaning cycles and finding patterns can make household tasks less overwhelming.

Summary

Overwhelm and Shame

Many people feel overwhelmed by the simplest tasks of keeping up with household chores and taking care of themselves. This overwhelm can lead to avoidance and feelings of shame and inadequacy. Emotional difficulties and societal messages play a role in the motivation to complete household tasks, and the division of labor in households can be influenced by subconscious modeling from childhood and societal gender roles. It’s important to recognize that our value as individuals should not be tied to our ability to complete household tasks, and removing shame from our to-do lists can help alleviate the pressure.

Self-Care and Worthiness

Self-care has become another item on the never-ending to-do list, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. However, self-care should be brought back to basics and not tied to self-worth or societal expectations. It’s about doing tasks that care for oneself, such as laundry or washing dishes, without the pressure of self-improvement or proving worthiness. Our value as individuals should not be measured by our ability to complete household tasks, but rather by our actions and priorities towards relationships.

Challenges of Self-Care Tasks

Taking care of oneself can be challenging due to the impact of stress, sleep deprivation, and mental health struggles on executive functions. Simple tasks like showering or brushing teeth can become overwhelming for those with mental health disorders or compromised executive functions. It’s important to prioritize self-care and understand that it can look different for everyone. Seeking outside help, if needed, is a valid option. Sensory sensitivities and physical issues can also pose barriers to self-care tasks, and alternative products or methods can be explored to address these challenges.

Changing Perspectives on Household Tasks

Mess in our homes is morally neutral, and we assign meaning to it ourselves. It’s important to consider alternative meanings for the mess and not solely focus on the negative interpretation. Our worth as individuals should not be determined by the state of our home, but rather by our actions and priorities towards relationships. Customizing cleaning cycles and finding patterns can make household tasks less overwhelming. By understanding that household tasks are not binary states of done or not done, but rather cycles, we can set a functional pace and focus on having clean clothes and dishes when needed, rather than striving for perfection.

Conclusion

Managing household chores and self-care can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of shame and inadequacy. However, it’s important to recognize that our value as individuals should not be tied to our ability to complete these tasks. By removing shame from our to-do lists and prioritizing self-care without attaching it to self-worth or societal expectations, we can find a healthier balance. Understanding the challenges that can arise in self-care tasks and seeking alternative methods or help can also contribute to overall well-being. Ultimately, our worth is not determined by the state of our home, but by our actions and priorities towards relationships.