The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast – When the Narcissist Knows You Know…

Intro

In this episode of “The Narcissistic Abuse & Trauma Recovery Podcast,” host Carolina Estrella dives into the topic of when the narcissist knows you know. She explores the different stages of the abuse cycle in narcissistic relationships and provides insights on how victims can navigate their way out of these toxic dynamics. Carolina shares her expertise on narcissistic behavior and offers guidance on healing from narcissistic abuse.

Main Takeaways

The Abuse Cycle in Narcissistic Relationships

• Love bombing is when the narcissist showers the victim with all the words they have desperately wanted to hear.
• Pushback occurs when the victim challenges the narcissist, triggering hurtful responses.
• Triggering can cause the victim to shift into a fight, flight, or freeze response.
• Hoovering is when the narcissist tries to draw the victim back into the relationship after a period of separation.

The Addictive Nature of Narcissistic Abuse

• Victims can become addicted to the sequence of hormones released during the abuse cycle, including dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and cortisol.
• Narcissistic abuse creates a physiological addiction in the body to the adrenaline and hormone secretion that occurs during the abuse cycle.

Challenges in Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship

• The narcissist can switch between being nice and not nice, making it difficult for the victim to leave.
• Breadcrumbing is a tactic used by narcissists to keep their victims hooked by giving them small amounts of affection or love.
• Victims of narcissistic abuse may stay in the relationship due to conditioning from past experiences and interpretations of love.

Post-Traumatic Growth and Healing

• Leaving a narcissistic relationship can be difficult, but it is possible to move from post-traumatic stress to post-traumatic growth after the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
• Validating experiences can help victims of narcissistic abuse realize they are not crazy.
• Knowledge is power when dealing with a narcissist.
• Narcissistic behavior is not a reflection of you.
• Healing from narcissistic abuse is possible and can lead to post-traumatic growth.

Summary

The Abuse Cycle in Narcissistic Relationships

Carolina explains the four key areas of the abuse cycle in narcissistic relationships. Love bombing is when the narcissist overwhelms the victim with affection and compliments to establish a strong emotional connection. Pushback occurs when the victim challenges the narcissist, leading to hurtful responses. This can trigger the victim’s fight, flight, or freeze response. Hoovering is the narcissist’s attempt to reel the victim back into the relationship after a period of separation. Understanding these stages can help victims recognize the patterns and dynamics of their abusive relationships.

The Addictive Nature of Narcissistic Abuse

Carolina emphasizes how narcissistic abuse creates a physiological addiction in the victim’s body. The release of hormones like dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and cortisol during the abuse cycle can create a dependency on the intense emotional highs and lows. This addiction can make it challenging for victims to break free from the toxic relationship and contributes to the cycle of abuse.

Challenges in Leaving a Narcissistic Relationship

Carolina discusses the difficulties victims face when trying to leave a narcissistic relationship. Narcissists often switch between being nice and not nice, confusing the victim and making it hard to establish boundaries. Breadcrumbing is another tactic used by narcissists to keep their victims hooked by intermittently providing small amounts of affection or love. Victims may also stay in the relationship due to conditioning from past experiences and their skewed interpretations of love.

Post-Traumatic Growth and Healing

Carolina offers hope for victims of narcissistic abuse by highlighting the possibility of post-traumatic growth. While leaving a narcissistic relationship can be challenging, it is possible to move from post-traumatic stress to a place of healing and personal growth. Validating experiences and seeking knowledge about narcissistic behavior can help victims regain their sense of self and realize they are not crazy. It’s important to remember that narcissistic behavior is not a reflection of the victim’s worth. With support and healing, victims can emerge stronger and create a peaceful life for themselves.

Conclusion

Understanding the abuse cycle, the addictive nature of narcissistic abuse, the challenges in leaving, and the potential for post-traumatic growth can empower victims of narcissistic abuse. By recognizing the patterns, seeking support, and prioritizing their own well-being, survivors can break free from the cycle of abuse and embark on a journey of healing and personal growth.